40 More Days of Jesus

Last night at church, I heard an interesting thought. One that I never really dwelt on before, but definitely want to now.

“We spend so much time focusing on Jesus leading up to Easter, but then when it’s over, we don’t dwell on Him as much. He spent another 40 days on earth before ascending to Heaven! It didn’t end on Resurrection Sunday.”

How very true… We focus on what we are going to give up for Lent, or we focus on Good Friday and the days leading up to the Resurrection Celebration. But, we don’t stop and think about the fact that Jesus appeared to over 500 people over the course of the forty days following His resurrection. He didn’t just die, rise again and then peace out of here. He stuck around because He still had things to do!

So, I decided that for the next 40 days, I want to “see” Jesus. I want to make a purposeful effort every single day for the next 40 days, to “see” Jesus. I believe that he makes himself known to us every day, but it is not often that we acknowledge that it is Him. We are so caught up in our lives and with our agendas, that if it isn’t Sunday, we are not thinking about Him. It goes deeper than that though… We can acknowledge and think about Jesus without “seeing” Him.

When I was in college, I was CRAVING dried mangoes. Nobody knew that I wanted them, and I didn’t tell anyone. I didn’t have the extra money to buy them, so I just said to the Lord in passing, “You know Lord, I would really love some dried mangoes.” Two days later, my mom sent me a package, and what do you know, inside was a bag of dried mangoes. That is what I mean by “seeing” Jesus. Those mangoes were from my mom, BUT, ultimately, they were from the Lord. He sent them to me, and I “saw” Him because of it.

40 days from today is May 10^th. I want to invite and encourage you to join me during the next 40 days. Document and acknowledge the ways that Jesus makes Himself known to you. Maybe it is in your devotions. Maybe it is in a text from a friend. Maybe you see something while you are driving to work and it reminds you of a spiritual truth or promise. Acknowledge it. And like those who saw Jesus after His resurrection, tell other people! Do not keep these appearances to yourself. Share it with friends, family, and strangers. Use social media. Use texting. Send a card telling someone about how you “saw” Jesus. I believe that the next 40 days can be very powerful and eye opening for many, many people.

For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.

Matthew 18:20

Holes n' Souls

My train of thought doesn't make sense. At least not right away. Someone makes a comment that it's cold outside. That comment makes me think of a song. Which makes me think about my piano. Which makes me think about my apartment. Which makes me think about my fridge. Which makes me think about food. So I say to that someone, "I'm hungry". When their original comment had absolutely NOTHING to do with food.... See what I mean.... It's bad.

However, sometimes, my random train of thought has positive and inspirational creative outcomes. A few months back, a friend said to me "I want to be wholly surrendered to God and solely dependent on HIM!" Then this friend said, "You should write a poem about that." Insert Elizabeth's train of thought....

Wholly = Holes --> Solely = Soles --> Shoes = Holes in the Your Soles --> Evangelization

Totally makes sense, right?? I mean, how could I not go there? How could I not go from complete surrender to Jesus to needing to replace your shoes to spreading the Gospel? It is soo obvious....

But, for those of you who are having difficulting connecting the dots, I will digress and explain.

The act of being wholly surrendered to God is one that I strive for on a daily basis. Why I can relate shoes to this idea, is because I want to be wholly surrendered to GO wherever God wants me to go. TALK to whoever He wants. STAY wherever He wants, and BE wherever He wants. All actions that require moving or staying or doing, which in turn requires walking, which requires shoes. See? Completely logical.

So, not only does my heart need to be surrendered, but so do my feet. They are my "transportation" if you will. They get me from point A to point B. And they get me there to complete a purpose. I might not know what that purpose is, but I need to be open and ready when HE shows me. Open and ready to GO.

Now, am I saying that in order to be spirtual and righteous, we need to walk around with our toes poking out of our shoes? No genius, don't be so literal. I am not saying that in order to be surrendered to God, we have to suffer and only use broken and damaged things. Take care of what God has given you. Make sure that your resources are in good repair so that you can use them for Him in their fullest capacity. However, sometimes, we can take the idea of maintenance a little too far.

Perfect shoes without a scratch or tear are not always a sign of good stewardship. Sometimes they signify lack of use. Should you maintain good repair of your "shoes"? Of course. Do not be afraid of a wear and tear to the point that you do not use the resouces He has gifted and entrusted to you. A few holes and scuffs are normal, and they tend to show where your priorities truly are.

"Shoes" is anything God has given you that enables you to share the Gospel (HIM) with other people. "Shoes" could be your car (taking people to church). "Shoes" could be sparkly personality (ability to make friends and influence people). "Shoes" could be a gift for public speaking (preaching, teaching, etc). "Shoes" can be and are different for everyone.

The main thing to remember is this - if you want to be "wholly surrendered and solely dependent", you have to put on your "shoes" and start walking. HE will lead you where HE wants you. And HE will make a way.

Faith in action is passionate about His message, powered by His strength  and produces His life changing results .

Holes and Souls

At the bus stop I did stand, waiting for my ride,
Briefcase in my left hand, young child by my side.

My eyes were quickly glancing at the traffic passing by,
When suddenly I turned and heard my child's heavy sigh.

"What's wrong I asked", with true concern for what might ail his heart.
"It's these old shoes", he moaned and groaned, "They always fall apart."

To the ground, I crouched to look, at his poor tattered “sole.”
The flap was ripped, the edges scuffed and at the toe a “hole.”

I started to assure him, that they could be replaced,
His tattered shoes, no longer, would be to him disgrace.

When from behind we heard it, a voice so soft yet strong,
Stringing words together in a lilting, catchy song.

"The souls of men are sorta like the soles upon our feet,
If we don't tread on them with care, then holes and rips we'll meet"

My son was drawn with fervor, to that quirky little man,
He dropped my hand, with eyes lit up, picked up his feet and ran.

He climbed upon the bench and looked him straight into the eye,
Almost he asked a question, but paused and heaved a sigh.

He sighed again and then a saw a tear crawl down his cheek,
His mouth, it opened once again, this time he did speak.

He asked the man a question, what it was I could not hear,
The old man softly chuckled, then whispered in his ear.

At first, my son looked puzzled, then a little sad,
Because I couldn't hear them, I thought it might be bad.

Then I saw the dear old man, reach down into his sack,
He reached down deeper, deeper still and pulled out something black.

He placed it in my young son's hands, and whispered once again,
The frown it then turned upside down, on his face a grin.

I slowly came beside them, and sat down beside my son,
In his hands, a pair of shoes, I was truly stunned.

Not because he held some shoes, or that they weren't his size,
Because they were all full of holes, much to my surprise.

The old man looked upon my face, then looked down at my boy,
His wrinkled face was smiling, filled with so much joy.

A question burned inside of me, regarding his torn shoes,
How were they supposed to fix my son's case of the blues?

In the distance, we saw the bus, it was nearing fast,
The old man took a long deep breath, his time was almost past.

The shoes upon our feet may wear, the soles all full of holes,
But where they take us, who we meet, those should be our goals.

It's easy to put focus on the soles upon our feet,
And never pay attention to the souls that we might meet.

The holes within our leather soles can easily be sewn,
The holes within their weary souls, only ONE can own.

Our shoes are just an instrument to get us through the day,
But also, they remind us, about our purpose and our way.

Let the tiny rips and tattered heels remind you of the goal,
It's not about the holes or tears, it's all about the souls.

With that he stood, and grabbed his bag, and started on his way,
My son reached out and touched his arm, wanting him to stay.

With tender eyes, he looked into the face of my small boy,
His voice was filled with happiness, his smile filled with joy.

"Keep those shoes, dear little one, hold them safe and fast,
Spread the Word to all lost souls, today might be their last."

With that last word he turned to board and quickly found his seat,
The happy look upon his face was for the people he'd soon meet.

Once again my son did sigh, and turned to look at me,
Instead of sadness in his eyes, it was joy that I did see.

In words that I cannot forget, he said to me that day,
"We really do not need to throw my dear old shoes away"

"They will last a little longer, I can make them last,"
I knew within that moment that his childhood had past.

When we see the souls of men instead of leather soles,
It's then our focus turns and shifts to different kinds of holes.

Not the holes upon our feet, but the hole within our soul,
The one that only HE can fill, sharing that's our goal.

So when we see a worn out shoe, one with a rip or tear,
Remind yourself of another hole and the message we must share.

-Elizabeth Alm
March 20, 2013

They Come In 3's

I was at work today. And all day I was wishing that I wasn't at work. Why you ask? Um, because it is Friday. Because tomorrow I get to sleep in. Because I have an avocado waiting for me at home. Really, don't ask such ridiculous questions.

My Grandma Betty always used to say that things happened in 3's - both good and bad. In a lot of respects, she was correct in her outlook on life. Because, let's face it, it is either 'third time's the charm' or 'three strike's you're out.' Not with everything, obviously, but it does make some sense that because we have a trinitarian God, groups of threes are not uncommon (repeating number sequences in the Bible are especially fascinating to me, btw).

Back to things happening in threes. Typically, I am so quick to count the first two strikes, and hold my breath for the third. Yet, I very rarely count my blessings with the same anticipation. 

However, today I did. Today I had three blessings. If I were to analyze my day, then I probably had more than three. But three in particular stood out to me. Yes, I am going to tell you about them. And yes, they are awesome! I am not going to dwell long on the first two, not because they are unimportant, but because the third one was so awesome! And I cannot wait to tell you about it!

Blessing #1 - I drank a fabulous green juice today. Do not judge me or think this blessing is stupid, lol. I had money to buy it, a car to go pick it up and the knowledge that it can help me. Therefore it is a blessing! Also, I feel stinking AMAZING after I drank it, so that is also lumped in with the whole "juice blessing"!

Blessing #2 - I won a prize. Today at work we had a benefit'a fair for the employees. I wasn't going to go. I went. I wasn't going to enter the drawing for a prize. I did. I told myself that I never win stuff. Yet I did. Was it by chance that I won? Possibly. But what wasn't by chance was that on the prize table was worship CD I really wanted. That same CD was still sitting there when I got the call that I won a prize. Only Jesus knew I wanted the CD. And that is why is was such a blessing. My Father knows that music is my language, and He was speaking it to me. But He didn't stop with the CD, He kept going!

Blessing #3 - I stopped off in her (one of my residents) room to deliver a card. As I placed the card on her dresser, I noticed a framed piece of sheet music hanging on the wall. It was a song written by her, about Jesus. I walked back to my desk and noticed her watching tv. Man, I wanted to hear that song. I walked over to her, stooped beside her chair and asked her about it. Her face lit up, and she told me that she had written many songs.She started singing one for me. Not the one on the wall, but the one she chose was specifically what I needed. Her soft, warbly, trembling voice sent chills down my back. The words of the song sent even more chills. The line that stood out to me the most was, "Lord, make my life a blessing to bless someone today, Make my life a lighthouse to light somebody's way." She sang it to me twice. (cute!)

Then she started telling me about using her voice for Jesus - singing in nursing homes and praising "her" Jesus. "Hallelujah" flew so freely from her lips in praise and adoration for her Saviour. She said something that I want to hold onto for awhile, "If the Lord gives you even the smallest bit of talent, give it to Him - He will use it!" This hit me, because so often my prayer is "Lord, help me to use my talent for you." I realized that isn't what He wants. He just wants the talent. It is His anyway. Such a good reminder. Such a challenge from a very godly and spiritual woman.

Then she looked at me and said, "I can tell that you know Jesus, because I can see on your face that He lives inside of you." It never fails to get me right in my gut to hear people say that. Not out of pride. Please don't misunderstand me. But sometimes, I wonder if people "see" Him in me. Or if all people see is me.... When she said that she could see Jesus, that made my heart glad.

Then with the love of Jesus beaming through her eyes (remember when I talked about that 'Jesus Shine'), she put her arm around me and said,  "You are precious. You are a lovely woman. Come talk to me anytime, and if I get boring, just leave. You are beautiful. You are precious." Then she hugged me, kissed my cheek, and then kissed my forehead twice. 

These moments are amazing. They cannot be recreated, even if we try. They are completely in the moment - His moment. Don't get so caught up in your life or your tasks or your to do lists, that you miss out on moments like this. And here is the thing - these moments are EVERYWHERE... He wants us to have them. He wants to give them to us. But if we are too busy with our own agendas, we are going to miss out on them completely.

My heart is full. So full right now. She filled my love bank today.... I am humbled and blessed. I sat at the feet of one of the "aged" women and learned. I was taught and I willingly accepted. I was blessed, and in return, so was she. Because, another thing she said when she referred to her musical events at nursing homes, "You know, I went there to be a blessing to them, and yet, The Lord somehow turned it around so that it blessed me too."

And that is how it works folks, that's how it works.

What Makes Us Beautiful

"The most beautiful sight of all, is to see Jesus, shining through the soul of another...."

I don't care what any of you people say, Jessica Alba is gorgeous, and if I were standing next to her, I would hide my face or make sure I was wearing a butt load of mascara! There, I said it. I acknowledged to the world that I am one of those "normal" girls who watches movies and immediately compares myself to the airbrushed goddesses of the cinema screen. Sigh, if only I didn't care so much... Life would be easier... No really, it would be.

Sometimes I feel as if I typify the verse that points out that man looks on the outside, but Jesus looks at our hearts. I constantly find myself looking at people, thinking how outwardly beautiful they are. The world around us, exemplifies and even encourages this behavior  Everything is about how good we look. How appealing we are, and how attractive we are to other people. In truth, it is just a basic human trait. We want to be liked, accepted, desired, revered and approved. We want to be the envy of those around us, and we want to be on top. Now, I am better than I used to be, but I still catch myself paying attention to the outward before I pay attention to anything else.

This is normal for us. But, it is not normal for... HIM.

And that is why I believe He looks at the inside so much. He wants to see if there is room inside for Him.... Because when we are all wrapped up in ourselves, there isn't any room for Him to camp out and shine through. Because my friends, like it or not, that is what true beauty really is, it is about how brightly and dazzling He is allowed to shine through us.

Without using names, I want to tell you about one of the most beautiful people I know. I want to paint a picture of what beauty is really all about. Beauty is from within. I know that sounds like the queen of all cliches, but it is a well known phrase for a reason.

At 19, I was a normal college sophomore  I liked staring at cute boys, curling my hair and singing like I was the next Mariah Carey in the shower. Except, where I went to school, you couldn't say it was Mariah Carey, you had to say that it was, um.... someone you heard on a Pepsi commercial, but you didn't know what the name was... (wink wink)

I was bubbly and social, yet insecure and filled with self doubt. I felt so out of place. Like I didn't belong, and I didn't know where I fit into the big picture. Then Jesus shined through to me...

I was sitting in class one morning, and I saw it. I saw the Jesus Shine. And let me tell you, if you have never seen someone glow with the love of Jesus, then you are missing out my friend. Either get yourself some new friends, or OPEN YOUR EYES! 

This person was overflowing with brightness and joy, and it was magnetic. Most amazing factor of all - they were completely unaware of it. They still are to some degree. That is the most perfect picture of Jesus shining through with beauty and light. A picture of someone who is so focused on HIM, that they are completely unaware of how HE looks as HE pours out of them.

This person is truly beautiful inside AND outside. Another awesome thing about Jesus, when He fills our insides, He makes the outside beautiful as well. Now, does that mean that we are all going to turn into supermodels? Um, no.... thank God (literally). It just means that we are beautiful in HIS eyes, and other people will see that beauty. It is not a beauty that is measured by the world, but it is a beauty that the world cannot ignore.

My friend taught me much about the superfluousness of outward beauty. That saying, "pretty is, as pretty does"? Yeah, outward beauty had no bearing on how this person chose friends. In fact, they saw clean through it, while I was at times intimidated by it.They chose people who magnified Jesus, humbly and not for show.

My friend showed me by their actions that true beauty is magnetic, inviting and accepting. True beauty does not push apart, does not divide and does not find others wanting. True beauty draws people, beckons and loves. That is why true beauty is Jesus. Jesus is all of those things to us.

One more thing, as you move forward and look for beauty differently (at least I pray that is what you take away from this), remember one thing... Oftentimes, the most beautiful people are the ones who have endured the most pain.

Why is this you ask? Pain has a way of emptying your soul of everything. Tears and sorrow are like a mighty river that gathers up everything in its way and moves it on out. And when we are completely gutted and emptied, it is then that the precious Living Water can fill us back up. For once the ugly has been pushed out, the beauty of Christ begins to show.

Who are the beautiful people in your life? The people that you look at, think about, gravitate towards - not because of their clothes, shoes, charm or personality - but because the Holy Spirit in them, is speaking to the Holy Spirit in you. I purposefully didn't name my friend, because, I want each of us to have our own picture. I don't want you thinking about the same person I am. I want Jesus to once again, shine the light on the people He has placed in your life. Acknowledge their beauty for the true reflection of God's exquisite creation. 

Man was the highlight of God's creation, not because of us, but because of the image in whom we were made. And when we forget that, and try to forge our own definition of beauty, we are defeating the initial purpose. We were made in HIS image. We were made to let HIM shine through us. When we do, it is then that the world can have a glimpse of true beauty. His beauty...

Look for His beauty in others, and as you do, let Him empty you, so that He can shine through you as well...

So think about "What Makes You Beautiful"..... Jesus:)

MS, Meet My Red High Heels

Hey MS, I want you to meet some folks. Meet my Red High Heels. You see them? They are going on my feet. They are going on my feet while I WALK out the door. They will stay on my feet as I WALK up and down stairs. Oh, and they will be doing that for a very long time. Just thought I would give you a heads up about that - in case you were getting any ideas about trying to get me into flats any time soon. Yeah....not happening. You see, these bad boys are my inspiration. These guys are a reminder to me that we are winning and you are not. Or rather, that HE is winning....

You see MS - I have another awesome friend, besides my Heels. They are just my posse. This guy, HE is incredible. HE is powerful. HE is mighty. HE is awesome. His name is Jesus, and He is using you to grow and stretch me. But you know what MS, He is healing me from you. That's right, you heard me, you... are... leaving.


Why are you leaving you ask? Well, first of all, we (Jesus and me) have too much to do, and you are just getting in the way. Or rather, you have served your purpose. Don't get me wrong, I have learned a lot from you. I have grown a lot because of you. But for right now, we don't need you. Personally, I don't want to see you come back. No offense. Second, Jesus is so incredibly awesome and talented and smart! You see, even though He allowed you to make an entrance into my life, He has also been showing me how to show you out the door - graciously.


MS - I know that this is difficult for you to take right now, so, I am going to go eat a huge salad while I wait for you to process this.....


Speaking of salad....yeah, salad has also joined my posse. And green juice. And avocado. And quinoa! Jesus has given me food for physical healing, worship and counsel for spiritual/emotional healing, and red heels for... Well, for fun and absolute joy;)


So MS - don't be too broke up about this. Because I am not upset at all. Me, I'm just stoked about this life with Jesus. I am on cloud nine that I get to live for Him. I am thrilled that I have been symptom free for 10 months. I am humbled, blessed and rejoicing over this gift of life that I have been given. This life that I get to truck on through in my red high heels!

p3

I am in the middle of reading an awesome book called, “Grace for the Good Girl: Letting Go of the Try Hard Life” by Emily Freeman. Because it resonates so strongly with me, I have to read it in stages. Today's chapter ended with this statement, “Jesus didn't value what people thought, He valued people.” Upon reading this phrase, I had to stop. And think about it. It really is true.... You never read about Jesus second guessing what He was called to do. Ever... Wow, to have such faith and belief in a true calling. 

Lately, I have posted a lot about people's opinions determining my decisions. I think I might be redundant to the point of annoyance... Nonetheless, I figure that I am not the only person to struggle with this, so I might as well share how Jesus and I are changing this habit. This is something that controlled most of my growing up, and if my being transparent can help someone else heal, we'll then, I will be redundant... For healing is powerful and restorative.

Growing up, I started to care what people thought of me as early as 7. I cared if they liked my hair, my clothes, my laugh, my stories, my personality, etc... I cared if I was apart if the “in” crowd (Which by the way, consisted of maybe 3 people). Then I started to care what people thought about my academic abilities. Then my musical talents. Then my spiritual accomplishments. And finally, my ranking as “one of the finest young ladies....” 

Now I would NEVER have defined myself as a prideful person. Mostly because I tried so hard to be humble. Humility is apparently the best quality to be acknowledged for possessing (How's that for an oxymoron?). But when I look back at all the ways through which I tried to gain acceptance, I realized it was ALL about works and tangible accomplishments. It was all about me...... but, I told myself that it was about Jesus. 

Since I know myself fairly well, I can say that some of it was about Jesus. I love HIM a lot! I wanted to please Him. However, I wasn't asking Jesus if I was pleasing Him. I was looking at other people who were “godly”, or “closer to God” than I thought myself to be. If I had their approval than I knew I was on the right track. Even when it felt weird. Even when it felt wrong. Even when I couldn't explain it for the life of me, I still followed in that vein of thinking.

Why? Well....there are a lot of reasons. Three reasons why I did it, and three reasons why I don't anymore. Oh, and they all start with “p”.... (I actually hate alliteration. It limits my creative flow, haha.But, for the sake of this post, I use my least favorite writing tool. For, I believe it makes a point. And it drives home a way of thinking I'm trying to change)

Why I Did:

1.Preferences

  I became a people pleaser at a young age. Whatever kept the peace. Whatever made people happy and whatever made people like me. Or at least to is what I told myself. For example, if someone said that reading the Bible two hours everyday was a way to prove your dedication to God, then I would have tried it. Now, I would have failed, miserably. Why? Because I am human and Nancy Drew and playing outside are more appealing when you are eight. But here is where it was so unhealthy. If someone shared a presences like that and I could achieve it (which happened often by the way), I would spend days and weeks feeling guilty and less than acceptable because I couldn't reach someone else's guidelines for spiritual success.

2.Principles

  I especially followed preferences when they were argued upon with “principles”, Biblical principles. Because if someone could justify it, then I had a hard time arguing with it. Even when it seemed wrong and unhealthy, or just flat out didn't make sense. Because remember, I'm a people pleaser. And I please people with principles and preferences.

3.People

  And if preferences and principles were promoted by PEOPLE, well then I was headed on a downward spiral. Mainly because I wanted to fit in and be accepted so badly. I wanted to be wanted, and I had found an avenue through which I could do that and excel. At least that is what I told myself. I could follow rules, sort of. you see, I can ease myself into a mold for a short period of time. Then common sense and Jesus start to kick in and I start coloring outside of the lines, haha. I told myself that if I gained the approval and good will of certain people, then I could place myself on this personal scale of success. I could gage my growth and maturity. I could now ,for a fact, how well I was doing - especially spiritually. For with the acceptance and approval of man comes godliness, maturity and growth - right?

This way of living was exhausting. Emotionally, spiritually, physically and mentally. Now, the three “P”s are not of themselves bad, but if you are looking to anyone but Jesus for your ultimate guidance in these areas, then you are in for a life of confusion and disillusionment. I know this because I have experienced it. So, I will turn these three “P”s around to show you what Jesus has been showing me and teaching me about prioritizing. Or rather, re-prioritizing.

Why I Don't Anymore:

1.Preferences

  I am to serve God rather than man - therefore, if I am looking to man’s preferences rather than God’s commandments, then I am not loving and serving my Jesus. Oh, and lets not forget that man looks on the outside while God looks on the heart. I am far from perfect and there is none righteous. So, with that being said, my preferences are the last ones that people need to be using as life guidelines. If I use other people to tell me if I am succeeding, what do I do when they change? Or when they are gone? Or when they have wrong motives? See the downside to this way of thinking?

  

2.Principles

  If you look up the word principle in the dictionary, you will find multiple definitions. The two that stood out to me are as follows:

A) “a rule or code of conduct”

B) ”a comprehensive and fundamental law, doctrine, or assumption”

The first definition is the one I spent a majority of my life living by. Now, as I write this, I want to state that I am pointing no fingers. I am not blaming anyone for “making” me live this way. I am just relating the works and going on of my own spirit and mind. Jesus pointed out to me that I spent more time wondering what “Fill In Name” would think than I did actually being alone with Him, seeking what He wanted me to do. Which leads to the second definition. “Fundamental law and doctrine” is a key . For me, it no longer references man’s laws. A least not initially.  It is referencing Jesus’s law and doctrine. It references Who I need to be most concerned about being close to.

3.People

  Jesus’s main goal and purpose was PEOPLE. More often than not, we focus on the preferences and principles more than we do the people. Why is that? Well, I know that for me, it seemed far easier to follow tangible rules (because rules are concrete; concrete is safe;), rather than open myself up to the vulnerability of relationships and relating to people. This was skewed thinking. There is nothing more freeing than opening yourself up to the grace and liberty that is Jesus. I didn't say it wasn't scary, I just said it was freeing. It is freeing to realize that with Jesus by your side you don't need to worry. I didn't say it would be smooth sailing, I just said you don't need to worry about it. God’s got your back. Oh, and get this, He has your back and loves you even when it isn't reciprocated... You hear that? His love isn't conditional and He is NOT a respecter of persons!

Do I still have preferences? Sure, we all do. I hate wearing socks to bed and chewing with your mouth open is gross. But,just because I can justify my preferences, does NOT mean that it is “law” or that people “have” to follow them. Nor should they feel like they have to follow them in order to receive good will and love from me.

Do I live by principles? Yes, to a point... Laws and guidelines are great. They are even helpful and safe. But, when followed blindly or set up improperly, they can also enable you to be very rigid, locked and judgmental. And when you follow people instead of the Person, you open yourself up to a world of mess. because, you can’t please everyone all of the time. Personally, I’d rather be open to the gentle leading of the Holy Spirit. He's been around the block a few time, and I trust Him more than I trust human beings with motives.

Do I love people? Oh man, yes I do! People are frustrating, entertaining, difficult, wonderful and amazing creations of God! People make me smile, and people are a motivating factor for how I live my life. People are fun and bring joy to my life. But, people shouldn't flat out determine my life, no should I determine theirs. I am better than no one, and no one is better than I am. I am not judge and jury, nor am I responsible for everyone's actions. People don't determine my destiny, control my feelings or handle my outcomes. Unless I let them.... People just need love. People just need Jesus. People (speaking to myself here) need to know that Jesus and love are synonymous. And personally, I want people to see the love of Jesus shine through me every single day. 

I have yet to meet someone that felt the unconditional, sacrificial love of Jesus through a rigid set of principles and preferences set forth by people. But when we let Him flow freely through us.... That is where we see the greatest gain and the most incredible miracles. Because folks, it's not about us... And in my experience, all stringent rule setting does is give you a guideline to show others how awesome you are. How well you can conform. How dedicated you are. Historical religious leaders led strict lives of dedication to those rules, and Jesus told them they were focusing on the wrong things! When I get to Heaven, no one is going to care about how well I fit myself into a mold. No one. No is going to ask how well I pleased everyone else with my righteous living. I am just going to look into the face of my Jesus, and nothing else will matter. Even if I don't receive crowns or blessings - you hear that? - even if I don't receive a single crown, Jesus still wants me in Heaven with Him. Because He wants me more than anything. It's why He died. His unconditionally, all inclusive love enables Him to look past my failings and see something that He wants....

Liberty in Christ...... Safety in the knowledge than I can fully depend on Him.... Peace in knowing that He is the Way, the Truth Andy the Life... Joy in knowing that I am NEVER alone....

Honesty

Lately, it seems like I've done a lot of writing about being real. And at the risk of sounding redundant, I feel like I should preface this by saying "why" I am writing about this again.

So often, I find that when the Lord continuously teaches me the same lesson, it is for one of two reasons.

1) I am not learning what He wants me to or

2) It is really important that this lesson sticks.

Being real - being transparent - being vulnerable - being honest.

All of these things are both frightening and liberating. All of these things are both challenging and necessary.

I used to make my decisions regarding transparency based on the fearfulness and the challenge, not realizing the liberty and necessity of my being real and honest.

If something was fearful it must be bad, and if something was challenging, then I was being tested or tempted. I couldn't make a wise decision on my own, or so I thought. I was always running to other people for "counsel". At least, that is what I thought I was doing. But really, I was trying to figure out what decision would please everybody else... I am not saying that everyone does it like this. I can only speak for myself. This is how I was doing it and why….. Not proud of it, but like I said, I’m just keeping it real.

2 Timothy 1:7 7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Proverbs 11:14 Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.

Think about these truths for a moment, and ask yourself how they relate to each when it comes to being real? Then, after being universal (something we all do by the way), ask yourself how they tie in with YOU being real and honest….. Now, bear with me, because we are getting down in the muck for the rest of this

Being real, being transparent - reoccurring themes in my life. Why do they keep coming up? What am I not learning? Is it really about being real to everyone else.......? Or is the real lesson to be learned about being transparent with myself....

Phew..... That's a good question....

So, being the good question that it was, I asked it to myself. And the answer I got, I wasn't necessarily fond of it.

This might surprise some people, it might not surprise others, but, I never felt truly comfortable in my own skin until about 11 months ago. Not comfortable in my own skin? Feeling unsure of who I am? Not knowing where I fit in? Yeah.... I had all of those questions. More questions came up, and I had to answer every single one of them. I had to answer them because; I had spent much of my upbringing pushing them out of my head. I had been pushing them out of my head because I had other questions that were speaking much LOUDER. And unfortunately, those questions had more to do with my reputation and what people were going to think of me, than what Jesus was trying to teach me...

Such vain and selfish thoughts. Now, it was never my intent to be selfish, but I was. My motivation wasn’t driven solely by vanity, but it was still vain, and I definitely had vain moments.

I wasn’t going to be quite this transparent, but in order to elaborate, I will. Selfishness is caring more about you – AT the expense of others. That means, that when I sat back and mocked and judged people who didn’t fit the mold or who didn’t follow all the rules, I was being selfish and vain. How you ask? I was selfish because fitting in with everyone else at that moment was more important to me than sticking up for them. I was vain because (I almost can’t say it), I thought I was better than they were because I followed the rules and they didn’t…. Of this I am most ashamed. Most ashamed, because, I treated people that way. I was the judge and juror when I had no idea what was going on at home. Judge and juror when I didn’t have the slightest clue about the hurt in their heart…

Moments like this shame me – but in a healthy, healing way. I never want to do that again. I have no room to judge, because Someone already occupies that seat. And He is far more just and benevolent than I am…

The Lord broke me of the selfishness and vanity, but the “looking to other people for acceptance” was still there. I was no longer judging (or at least trying not to), but I was terrified of being judged. Terrified, because, I had been judgmental, and I knew how harsh people could be, and how lonely that felt…

Then I had to finally be…. Honest…

I was caring more about what other people thought than what HE thought. I was focused more on if other people thought I was godly, then whether He felt loved and adored by me. I was allowing other people to dictate to me what was right, instead of seeking it out for me and listening to the Holy Spirit. And this, my friends, is why I felt uncomfortable in my own skin. This is why I looked in the mirror and I had to look away because of the insincerity and pain that I saw there. This is why I looked in the mirror and saw strain and anxiety, instead of peace and joy.

2 Timothy 1:7 7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Proverbs 11:14 Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.

To loop back to both of those beautiful Scriptures, I will end with this. God gave us counselors, because in second opinions there is safety. However, God also gave you freedom, liberty, courage and a sound mind to make decisions. If we are following Christ, then we are never truly making decisions completely on our own. The Holy Spirit should be the loudest voice we hear, as it is He who lives in us.

About a week ago I started writing a new song (For those of you who don't know, I'll let you in on a little secret, I LOVE singing from my heart and I LOVE writing music with my hands....). It isn't finished yet, but when it is, I hope to share it with you. The main theme of the song is about what we see when we truly look at ourselves. Do we see pain, hurt, and rejection? Do we see vanity, pride and arrogance? Or, do we see Jesus? Not because we are so holy and righteous, for we are not, but because He flows so freely and strongly through us, that He is all we can see. That is what I want; I want to see Jesus - today, tomorrow and always...