The Love Project 2014: The Wonder of Miracles

Miracles.

Rise up and walk kind of experiences.

Go and sin no more moments.

Speak Lord and it will happen type of trust.

Who is this man and how does He do these things awe and amazement.

That’s what I want to see. Be apart of. Know, experience, share and see.

My small group is going through the book of Acts. As we walked through chapter 4, and discussed the lame man who asked Peter for silver and gold, I had a thought.

Do I really and truly believe that miracles happen the way we read about them in the scriptures?

Do I truly believe that someone can rise up and walk when spoken in the name of Jesus with complete faith?

Or have I become so tainted and jaded by “false prophets”, that I miss it when it really happens?

To me it seems like such a delicate balance. A balance of the true belief in the Holy Spirit and those gifts, coupled with discernment for that which is not of the Lord.

Because I love Jesus and I know He hears me, I have no problem believing in the answered prayers I see coming to fruition in front of me.

But what about miracles?

Do I really believe they exist?

I want to. I want to see them, experience them, hear of them and believe in them.

I want my love for Jesus to be so strong and firm that I don’t doubt the possibility of miracles.

I don’t just want to read about them to believe in them. I want to believe in them and know them to be true.

True because the One I love has said they are so, and not only did them, but still does.

Thou art the God that doest wonders: thou hast declared thy strength among the people.

Psalm 77:14

The Love Project 2014: If You Give a Girl a Cape

When I was a wee child (no short jokes please), there was this book that I absolutely loved to read. It was called, "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie." The entire premise of the story is based on the hypothetical situation that will arise if  and when you give a mouse a cookie. You know, should he walk up to you and say, "Hey you. Yeah, you with the cookie. I want one."

The problems you then face (not counting a talking mouse as a problem) are as follows: he will probably want some milk. And then a blanket, and then a jacket and a bed. You get the idea. Sort of like the concept that says, "if you give them an inch, they will take a mile."

This philosophy says loud and clear, "STAY WITHIN YOUR BOUNDARIES! DON'T TAKE RISKS OR LET ANYONE IN!"

Granted, I am reading way more into this iconic piece of children's literature than need be, however, I am going to put on my cynical hat for a moment. 

The entire book is filled with what if's.

Growing up, I totally felt like the kid who wanted to give the mouse a cookie. Just to see what would happen. However, I got caught up in the what if's.

What if that person is upset with me.

What if they don't like me. 

What if they don't think I am funny.

What if someone goes down a wrong path because of the one thing I said wrong. 

Or my friends turn against Jesus.

Or that adventure I want to go on doesn't pan out. 

Or. Or. Or....

Most of the time, I was a free spirited kid, until I placed this unbelievably heavy sense of responsibility on my own shoulders.

Until one day, I decided enough of that. 

And even though it didn't rectify itself overnight, I made a conscious and focused decision to embrace life.

So, if a children's book were to be written about me, I would call it "If You Give a Girl a Cape."

Why a cape?

I am so glad you asked.

If you give a girl a cape, she will feel strong.

She will feel powerful.

She will be confident and radiate light and fun and laughter.

She will not shy away in the face of uncertainty or danger.

She will be brave and stand for what is right. 

She will love fiercely and be a support for those who need her most, while also allowing people to love her and support her in return.

I know most girls like princesses, and don't get me wrong, I do as well.

However, there is just something way cooler about have an invisible plane than having a crown.

As a kid, I pretended to be one. Wonder Woman was and is my favorite. Followed by Wolverine and Batman.

Because, there is just something about wearing a cape that makes things right with the world.

Especially on "Superhero Friday." When wearing capes to work is encouraged. Mostly by me, but whatever. Actually, wearing capes ANYWHERE is encouraged!

So, I wear my cape to work, frequently. 

People know me as Wonder Woman. 

And it's awesome.

What's more awesome is that Jesus used something as simple as a cape to teach me something powerful.

Something empowering and encouraging. 

Something that I want to share with everyone! And if wearing a cape on Fridays makes that possible, then bring on the capes!

Because my friends, you are precious in the sight of Jesus.

He fills you with His light, His power and His love. 

And that is greater than any super power and He is more powerful than any superhero.

He is the ultimate SUPERHERO!!!

Cheers to wearing capes, spreading joy and taking the love of Jesus everywhere!!!

Happy SuperHero Friday Everyone! 

The Love Project 2014: I Wanna Be a Fruit Tree

I was eight when I heard Him for the first time.

It was winter. Snow was everywhere. The sky was bright and lightness filled the room. 

And as I walked into my bedroom, I stopped.

I looked over in the corner at my Bible, and I heard Him say, “read it…”

I did. It was fantastic. It made sense.

He has always made sense. However, for a very long time, religion itself confused me. Gave me anxiety. Anxiety that was so distracting at times, I would be thinking about my “image” instead of fully embracing my love and worship of Jesus.

On Monday, I heard a biblical truth stated so clearly, so plainly, that I am still reeling because I had never understood it so clearly before.

“God is interested in fruitfulness because it blesses others.”

Um….wait….what? The main goal of fruitfulness is to be a blessing?

For most of my life, I thought fruitfulness was the litmus test of your spirituality, as well as the perfect gage for the successfulness of your walk with Christ.

(I am cringing as I type these words)

Growing up, I was very dedicated in doing all of the right things. 

I never missed church. I read my Bible every single day. I volunteered in so many ministries. But, I didn't see results. I didn't experience fruit. Or more specifically, the fruit I thought I was supposed to be seeing.

I thought unless I had 20 people down the aisle at church every Sunday who were getting baptized and joining the church, I was failing as a Christian.

I should probably mention I was 9 when I placed this expectation on my shoulders.

I also struggled with the fact that I had been born a girl and couldn’t be a pastor. Because let’s all be honest, standing behind that pulpit looks super fun.

This perception surrounding spiritual success caused a lot of struggles for me. One summer in particular is burned into my brain.

I was at youth conference. It was awesome. We were doing community outreach. Which was also awesome.

Until it became competitive…And by that, I mean, I  got competitive.

That afternoon, a girl had the opportunity to pray with over 50 kids and see them receive Christ. Which is mind-blowingly cool. However, I felt like the most horrible Christian in the world, because I only prayed with two kids.

It physically hurts my heart to write those words. I feel ashamed that my sense of awe and wonder at the power of Christ was dulled by a false and unhealthy perception of spiritual ‘success’.

What happens in our hearts and in our minds that cause us to only see fruitfulness as something that can be measured, weighed and put on display, instead of something that blossoms and is distributed to others?

Guys, I had the opportunity to talk about Jesus with someone. With a living breathing human being. Not one, but two. And yet, I was bummed out.  Because I didn’t have a grand total I thought would give me status that would then translate into love and acceptance! 

I got it so wrong. For so long.

That day? I stopped counting. I stopped keeping track of numbers. Numbers belong on a spreadsheet, not the kingdom of Heaven.

It was a tough place to be spiritually. And it took me a long time to fully get out of that head space. However, it prompted me to start re-evaluating my view on spiritual success. I was tired. There seemed to be a constant battle to be good enough. And it was exhausting.

Then the Lord took me on an awesome journey. He broke down every perception. He began to show me that the closer I got to Him, the more I looked to Him, the less the affirmation of other people mattered.

I still have my moments of guiltiness. I still have times when I think that I am being a horrible Christian because I am not “doing” enough of the “right” things.

When those moments come, and they will keep coming, I remind myself of a few things:

1. Jesus loves me – completely, utterly, eternally.
2. Jesus is not standing over me with a hammer, ready to fire me from the Christian life if my numbers don’t add up.
3. This life is about sharing the Gospel and the love of Christ – which can happen in so many different ways.

I found Jesus when I was 8 years old, and I love the fact that I am still learning so much. I love that perceptions and spiritual pride are constantly being clipped, shot down and redefined.

He is teaching me that the very behavior I define as "godly", is not counted as such when the spirit and motive behind it is prideful and self-serving.

So tonight, instead of worrying if people think I am in God’s will or if I am being a "good" Christian, I just want to be a fruit tree. 

A big, fatty, honey crisp apple tree with branches so full, the fruit is almost catapulting off the limbs.

I want to bear fruit that brings delight, refreshment, encouragement and life to others, especially to my Jesus. I want the light of Jesus to shine through me in such a way that I am completely unaware of it.

“God is interested in fruitfulness because it blesses others.”

Go be a blessing and be blessed!

Sweet Summer Peaches

"The heart, like the mind, has a memory.
And in it are kept the most precious keepsakes."
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

My most heartfelt and transparent writings are about my dad. Sometimes I wonder if it’s too much. I wonder if people get tired of reading it. I ask myself if I should post it at all.

I even ask myself if the fact that the pain still continues to overwhelm me at times means I haven’t truly healed…

Regardless of what is right and what is wrong, there are still certain things I have a really hard time doing, simply because he is no longer here….

We loved baseball. Like, yell at the TV love baseball. If “we were on the field we would get kicked out” love baseball. Regardless of how much I love it, going to a game still poses its emotional challenges. And when it comes to watching it on TV? Can’t do it… 

In the summer, we used to do it every single day.

We loved music. Because of him, I did, and still do, dig the Beach Boys. Comforting to still listen? Yes. Difficult? You have no idea….

Crushed Melon Jones Soda is the shiznit. Yet, I haven’t had one in years…. My chest hurts when I think about drinking one. (probably because of the sugar, but….whatever, lol)

Cooking is probably the one thing I can do that makes me feel close to him without feeling overwhelmingly painful.

Cooking and shopping with him was this inspiring adventure where you didn’t just learn to cook something new. You learned how to live. You learned how to create. How to produce an experience that brought joy, laughter and fulfillment to not just you, but also those around you. To be able to carry that with me is an honor. And I thank him for bequeathing that to me…

Aside from a love of cooking, a deep, satisfying love of fresh produce was also something we shared. As a result, buying fresh produce in the summer makes me feel happy and lonely all at the same time.

Dad LOVED and lived for fresh fruit. I don’t ever remember a time where we didn’t have some kind of fresh produce in the house. Even in the winter. He loved bananas, apples and blueberries. Melons, nectarines and plums when they were in season. As well as the biggest watermelons you have ever seen. But the pinnacle of all fresh fruits that would make their appearance on a hot summer day, was the sweet, succulent, and juicy peach.

Those peaches…. Would blow your mind. 

Eating them was not just something you did. You had to experience them.

I remember standing in the kitchen with my dad, watching him cut into the flesh of that ripe, tender peach, talking about how amazing it was going to be, and how it was going to be the best thing I have ever had in my entire life.

He would split it between us, and as the juices ran down my chin, I would watch my dad experience something magical. The sweet, sticky juices would run down his hands and into his beard.  He would raise his eyes to the ceiling, making a guttural sound of contentment, and dancing in delight as only he could. That’s how good these things were.

Standing in front of the peaches today, I almost didn’t buy one. I didn’t have him by my side, showing me how to pick out the perfect peach. I had to do it myself. And it was lonely. And it hurt.

But, he would want me to enjoy something so mind-blowingly fabulous. He would tell me that I “had” to buy it. Because it’s what summer is all about.

Dad had this ability to make everything an adventure. Everything was an experience and an opportunity to learn.

As I have my own adventures and create my own experiences, I ache to share them with him.

I want to share my new recipe ideas, and play music with him. I want to listen to talk radio and listen to him argue with someone who cannot hear him.

I want to sit and discuss life and ask for his advice… because sometimes I desperately need it…

Yet today, all I want to do is sit down next to him on my patio, split my peach down the middle, and share it with him. 

Because today? I don’t want to each my peaches by myself…I want to share this experience with him.

The Love Project 2014: Divine Appointments

I was offered a ride to the airport.

But in true Elizabeth fashion, I declined.

I like the freedom that public transit allows. The quiet moments to think, mixed with a myriad of opportunities to meet someone new. Learn something. See something you've never seen before. 

Public transportation has taught me to better manage my time. 

I tend to cram too much in too short a time frame.

Today, my "A" game was on.

Ready to go. Check list completed. On the train. Let's do this. 

I didn't sit in my normal spot. Because every transit rider had their spot. Kind of like in church. With pews. 

She wasn't from around here. Alaska.

We connected over food. She spilled her Sprite. 

Then music. I told her I'm singing in a wedding this weekend, when she asked where I was heading. 

Then she asked me to sing.

I don't know why I still get nervous and shy, but, I do. I chuckled and declined.

She wanted to hear the song I'm singing for a wedding this weekend. I sorta sung the first line.... 

Then she practically begged me to sing "Amazing Grace." Because she needed encouragement. How can you refuse that? I closed my eyes and sang. 

I felt myself going back to last year when I sang it to my grandfather 24 hours before he passed away. 

It was moving and powerful to share the language of music with a perfect stranger. To share Jesus with a fellow sister in Christ and feel that connection even though we'd never met. 

We spoke of Jesus. Of faith and prayer. She prophesied my getting married soon. I chuckled. 

We spoke of the Mission and how she had just walked past the Men's Shelter. 

She is a photographer and showed me her work. Then she gave me one of her shots. It is lovely. I know exactly where I am going to put it. 

When I first started working at the Mission, we had lunch with the Prez; and he asked us to share something that we collect. He said that whether we realize it or not, we all have something we collect. And he was right. 

However, at the time, I didn't really have an answer. I mean, I am always downloading music and always buying books and funky coffee mugs at the thrift store. But are those the things that most excite me? The things that I will go out of my way to find? No. Not really, not truly. 

Today when I met Karen Elisabeth, I knew it was a divine appointment from Jesus. 

I also realized in that moment, what drives me. What I will go out of my way to find. What I long to gather to myself and keep forever. 

I am a collector of stories. I want to know them. Keep them. Hear them. Tell them. Experience them. Create them. Find them.

Stories? They compel me, captivate and inspire me. Move me to tears and laughter, all in the same breath. 

And this was just one....