Christmas Day 2014 is winding down to a close. I am sitting
on the most comfortable couch in the world, eating cheezy gluten free noodles
and watching “Man of Steel.”
My phone rings.
It’s my landlords.
I should interject they are basically the cutest EVER.
Because, this morning they brought me a plant and were
singing “Merry Christmas” to the tune of “Happy Birthday” as they came down the
stairs.
***kill me with all
the cuteness***
Tonight they offered me leftover salad and dibs on any and
all veggies in their fridge since they are going on vacation.
They also asked if I would I water their poinsettias. Of
course I said yes.
Better yet, how about they bring them downstairs so that I
can enjoy the plants for them while they are away? So, they brought them down
and helped me put them all around the apartment…
***Seriously, can
these people be any more adorable??***
Before she left, I shared with Mrs. M about my mission’s
trip, asking her for prayer. She asks to pray for me right then and their.
Talk about feeling
the Holy Spirit come down and wrap you in a fuzzy blanket….
I started to tear up as she prayed, because I realized the
loneliness I had been feeling all day long was being soothed and comforted in a
most unexpected way.
When we talk of loneliness, we so often think of people who
have no one. But I have family. I have a lot of friends. Wonderful, inclusive,
delightful friends.
I also have an incredible job, and all sorts of shenanigans
and grand adventures on a fairly consistent basis.
And at the end of the
day, I come home to an empty apartment.
Sure, I get to watch
whatever I want, eat when I want and choose NOT to fold my mountain of laundry.
Most of the time,
it’s kind of nice.
Then at other times,
being alone makes the loneliness really glaring and super uncomfortable.
The thing about
loneliness? It is not a respecter of persons. It strikes all of us.
(It is also not a respecter of living status. You can feel lonely while
being alone or while being surrounded by crowds of people).
So the Lord and I chatted about it. The loneliness thing.
I also talked to one of my mentors about it yesterday.
I came to the conclusion that allowing yourself to feel lonely
isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
In fact, in can be a
really healthy place to hang out.
I used to avoid the
feeling.
I would pack my life
full of duties responsibilities, people, jobs and projects in order to avoid
feeling the pang of loneliness.
Now, instead of filling my empty hours with tasks and to do
lists, I embrace feeling lonely.
Even if I don’t want
to. Even if it’s
uncomfortable. Especially if it’s
uncomfortable.
But why?
- It’s normal. We all feel it. Single or not.
- It is an area of anxiety for me, and I want to overcome it.
- Jesus and I have some pretty epic prayer parties when I camp out here.
- It causes me to be really honest with the Lord about my life and the direction it’s headed.
- It’s one more avenue through which Jesus shows me His marvelous love.
This year has been a year of Jesus showering me with love.
Showering me with the affirmation that He wants, desires and delights in me.
He does it in crazy, creative and sometimes random ways. But
it is always evident the love action is from Him.
Tonight it came to me
in the form of salad, poinsettias and a prayer.
Christmas can be a
hard time for a lot of people. A lonely time, a painful time and a trying time.
So tonight, seek HIS
heart and ask Him to overwhelm you with His love.
He will do it.
Because He loves you. Always has and always will.
Merry Christmas
Everyone!
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