You see, I was in the middle of stressing myself out with regards to looking for an apartment. I was telling myself that I was trusting the Lord to provide, when in actuality I was praying only according to what I could see myself affording. Yeah, my faith was "huge"....
As called around, looking for an affordable apartment, I quickly became discouraged, because 1) the UW students took all of my available studio apartments, and 2) I was quickly realizing the budget I had to work with wasn't exactly conducive with the amenities I was seeking.
Earlier in the afternoon on the day Jesus gave me that amazing dress, I had gone to see an apartment. From the internet ad, it seemed really nice. Not all the amenities I was hoping for, but definitely the ones I needed. However, when I arrived, it seemed the pictures had been slightly.....deceiving. The smell of mildew was heavy in the air, the kitchen tiles were peeling at the corners, and there were rat droppings in the garage. Slightly disheartening, if I do say so myself.
I left the apartment, and took a drive, looking for other options. As I was driving, I had this conversation with the Lord.
Me: "Really? Is this really all my budget can afford? I don't mean to be ungrateful, but I really don't want to live there....."
Jesus: "Then stop praying according to your budget."
Me: "But Lord, I know what I can afford, and I can't afford anything super nice."
Jesus: "No, you can't, but remember, I can. I own the cattle on a thousand hills, and I can get you the best apartment ever. You just have to ask."
Now, whenever I have these types of conversations with the Lord, my default mode is to feel really guilty. To feel as if I am asking to much. To feel as if I don't have the right to ask.
Because, I still am humbled by the fact that He answers my prayers at all, and also, I never want to become cocky or arrogant over the fact that He answers my prayers in the affirmative. And maybe there is a little bit of guilt over feeling selfish for asking for nice things. I don't really know what that is all about, but when I figure it out, I will probably blog about it, lol.
After that conversation, I then found my rockin' dress, went home and had another talk with the Lord. I guess you could say that it was a "Name It, and Claim It" type of prayer.
However, let me say this - I don't know that I am a huge fan of naming what you want, claiming it in Jesus' name and then expecting to receive it. He doesn't always say 'yes'. I am a huge fan of being really specific though, and letting Jesus know what you want. At least you will know that you were clear on what you wanted, even if He says 'no'.
The next morning, I woke up and said, "Lord, I want exactly what I have here with Faith and Steve, but better." And that was it, that was my prayer. Short, sweet and specific. My situation was amazing. It was safe, there were nice perks, and to be perfectly honest? I selfishly didn't want to give that up for a nasty apartment with rat poop everywhere. So I told the Lord what I wanted, and waited to see what He was going to do about it, haha.
When I was visiting some people at the nursing home later that morning, an old co-worker said, "Oh my gosh, you need to go check the break room right now! Someone is renting a 1 bedroom basement apartment and you need to call them. Jesus wants you to have this apartment!" Wow Lord.... that was fast.... A new record, answered prayer in 2 hours flat!
I walked into the break room to take down the information, and as I read the list of amenities and the cost of the rent, I almost couldn't believe it. It was everything I had prayed for and then some. Plus, it was $20 under budget.
So here I am, sitting at my kitchen counter, in my new apartment, writing this post about this stinking AWESOME answer to prayer. Oh, and those "amenities" I couldn't afford? I have all of them, and then some... I am one humbly blessed girl tonight!
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| the perk I am most excited about!!!! |
My faith was weak, although I wouldn't have wanted to admit it. My prayers were in accordance with what I thought was possible, not what God could make happen.
I feel as if the Lord is constantly teaching me something. It used to be discouraging, because every time I learned something new, I felt as if I was a failure because I hadn't "got it" yet. Then I realized that I will never get to a place where I stop learning. And if I do, then that is when I really need to be concerned.
So what did I learn this time? I learned to stop thinking so much, but instead to start praying more. I learned that HIS possibilities are endless, and that I need to stop complicating that which He has already simplified. I learned to feel confident in the promises HE has made to me in His Word. Mostly, I have learned that wherever HE is, I am home. And that regardless of the perks a dwelling might possess, if HE is not the main amenity, then it isn't perfect.
Pray for me during this next stage in my life. I am super excited to see what Jesus is going to do. I am ready, I am willing and I am feeling adventurous. Please also pray that my home will be a place of prayer and fellowship. I want my home to be a place where people can pray together, be spiritually refreshed and can see the miracles of God in a mighty, might way.
Life with Jesus is EPIC!!!
For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.
Matthew 18:20
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