I sit back from the water and it looks
perfect. However, as I come closer, and begin to see the imperfections beneath the water's surface, I begin
to wish I had continued to stay back in my delusion. My delusion of perfection.
Recently, I attended a session at a local church
conference. I really wasn't planning on going, but someone had asked me to go
with them, so I agreed. About an hour
before I left for the conference, I was struck with a deep sense of panic.
I take the bus to work every day. So I dress practically
for the wet, wintry weather. Meaning I wear tights. I wear boots. And yes, I
wear pants. And yes, I was wearing pants that day.
Now, I’m not going to fight about this. I realize a lot
of people have personal opinions regarding women wearing pants. That is fine,
and to each his own. I choose to wear them, and feel no less close to God when
I wear them, than when I wear a skirt. So if anyone gets ugly, I will kindly
and with Christian love ask you if you wear pants to bed.
This sense of panic continued to creep in and I began to
feel very self conscious. Some would say I was being silly. Some that I
was "under conviction." Then again, some wouldn't even register my
wearing pants was an issue. And really, it isn't, nor should it be.
Why then, would I have so much anxiety if I wasn't doing
something wrong? At the beginning of the
service, I could not have given you an answer. By the middle of the service, I was
more clear; and by the time I laid my head on my pillow that night, it was
completely clear.
I threw myself into a state of inner anxiety because I was
worried about the response to my pants. Not the pants themselves.
Why was it the response to my apparel I feared? I wasn’t immodest.
I was dressed like a lady. I wasn’t drawing unnecessary attention to myself. So
then why did I instinctively respond with such a high level of discomfort?
Unfortunately, there has been an unhealthy and harmful
mindset set before our young people and new Christians. I don’t know if it was
intentional, however, it still exists. The prominent unspoken theme is that your
depth of your spirituality and the level of your worth as a Christian is
wrapped up in how well you conform to the preferences, rules and guidelines set
before you. If you conform to every detail and every preference, then you must
be very spiritual and close to God. If you don’t… well, then we will just pray
for you, while we continue to hold you at arms length.
Is every community of believers this way? No, absolutely
not. But I have seen it, and experienced it.
Jesus doesn’t operate like that folks. Now, don’t get me
wrong, life is not a free for all just because we have forgiveness and grace. There
are commands from God we need to follow in order to live a more holy and committed
life for Him. But, women not wearing pants and guys not having a comb over are
not two of those commands.
We tend to make up rules to make ourselves feel more
comfortable. We fit ourselves into a mold that is unrealistic and fake. Oh, and
if you think the world doesn’t see it? Think again. They see it. They call it
like it is. And then they want nothing to do with Jesus or us.
This revelation got me thinking. If I, as a steadfast
believer in and follower of Jesus am afraid of the response from my peers and
if they are going to doubt my commitment to Christ, then how in the world does
everyone else feel when they visit our churches? Get together with us for
coffee, or do life with us?
If they are afraid we are going to hold them at arm’s
length because of their piercings, then do you think they are going to come to
us when they have deep sin in their life? Or when they do something stupid? Or want
to know about Jesus? Or are hurting? Yeah, not likely
they are going to come to us. In fact, they probably aren’t going to come to us
– ever.
You see, in our efforts to “be holy and separate”, we
have created an environment where no one can talk about their struggles,
their sin or their shame.
We have created an environment, where yes, sin is named,
but also, things that are not sinful are named as such.
We twist and manipulate Scripture to back what makes us
comfortable, instead of being honest when asked a question - and saying,
"I don't know". Or, we just quote what we have heard our entire
lives, instead of seeking the truth for ourselves.
People want to ask questions. People want answers. People
want to learn and grow.
People want to feel safe. People want to feel loved.
People want to feel accepted.
But, let’s say someone gathers the courage to ask a
question. Too often they are shut down because the other person else feels
uncomfortable. Or doesn’t have the answer. Then, the person who asked the question feels even more
shame. They feel even more alone. And they have no one with whom to share their
pain. (And don't say, "well, they have Jesus." We all have Jesus, and this is about us not being like Him)
We stand behind the pulpits and preach about how Jesus
saved us from our sin. Yet, we somehow forget we still sin. As if somehow,
being mean to your friend is an acceptable sin, whereas selling drugs is not. Sorry. It’s all the same.
We boldly say we are not perfect, yet we don't want to
talk about those imperfections. Or the things that are unpleasant. Or the
things that hurt.
We only want to talk about the things that make us, oh
sorry - I mean God, look good.
We want to cloak ourselves in this veil of false
perfection. We only want to talk about who we visited in the nursing home. Or
how many doors we knocked on and how many times we were able to share the
gospel with those "lost souls".
We don't want to hear about the person who is struggling
with a pornography addition. The person who is struggling with their sexuality.
The person who just has the ugliest attitude in their heart, EVER, and needs to
be called on it. Because yes, a bad attitude is still a sin
We don’t want to talk about it, because it makes us
uncomfortable. It means we have to come to terms with the fact we fall short of
perfection every single day. But why talk about it? Why talk when it is so much
easier to put on our churchy costume and parade around like we no longer sin.
We talk about it, because it brings healing. It brings
forgiveness. It brings liberty. It bring accountability. It brings change.
Yet if we continue to hide it, that is a dangerous space
to be in spiritually. And a dangerous way to tell others they should be. Whether
it is a verbal instruction or just understood.
We are a family. We are a community. It's time we started
acting like it. Instead of acting like co-workers and strangers, let’s act like
the fellowship of believers we are. Our fake perfection needs to fall away.
We need to be real and be honest. If Paul can admit that
he was the chief among sinners, then we can be real with our struggles. Because
I don’t care how many pairs of culottes you own, or how well you tie your
necktie. Those things are the least important things to the Lord.
He wants your heart. He wants you. And He wants you to
shower love on other people. People need love. Not shame.
We can do better. We know to do better. We should do better.
#theloveproject2014
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