So I'm doing this thing. This intentionality thing.
And I'm tired.
Like, I want a nap within 20 minutes of waking up tired.
But dang it, I'm doing this ish.
This getting up at 6am every morning ish.
Having my devos and coffee ish.
Following my to do list ish.
Get my dang 10k steps ish.
Basically, it's a lot of ish.
This really weird thing is happening though.
I'm liking it...
Being the somewhat literal person that I am, I figured that if I am going to pursue this intentionality thing, I should probably start with my morning routine.
Mornings have always been a bit of a struggle.
I have always said that it's because I am a night owl, and while that may be partly true, it's not all of it.
I am a self-proclaimed procrastinator.
And for awhile, it was real bad.
Currently? It's not terrible, but it still needs some work.
I would read all these self help books and articles about time management and how to be better at getting stuff done and how the most successful people have a 12-step process to ultimate success.
And... if you follow it, all your dreams will come true, you will make a million dollars and someone will give you a unicorn.
horse crap I say....
While I knew that specific philosophy doesn't really happen, I still wanted to get to the bottom of why mornings were so hard for me.
Well, when I finally got to the bottom of it, it floored me.
Since the journey itself is a pretty lengthy story, I will try to be concise.
However, if you want to know the whole story, hit me up, I'd be happy to share.
Here is the jist of it...
Parts of my childhood and adolescent years were pretty traumatic and painful, and I dreaded most of the things I had to do. Even the things I loved.
So I coped. I would wait until the absolute last minute and get stuff done. Which often resulted in me being late, or something being late. I could not handle unstructured time. It was scary.
You'd think that would make me really organized right? Well, it did. Kind of. It made me organized.
But, not for the sake of efficiency, but for the sake of safety.
And they are totally not the same thing. At all.
One day, the Lord revealed this to me. Through a time management book of all things.
I was completely floored.
But, I also felt completely freed of something I had felt bound by for years.
Even though I was experiencing this new found freedom, I had to re-learn and re-discover some things.
I had to be super intentional about planning, scheduling and structuring my life, my job, etc.
I never again wanted to fall back into that habit of doing things for the sake of feeling safe and secure.
About a month ago, I was reading this book. It was about time management.
Go ahead and laugh.... I have a problem....
Something stood out to me though. Something I have read in other books and articles.
It is developing this habit of doing something you love first thing in the morning so that you are motivated to get out of bed and start the day.
Seems easy enough right?
Wrong. It was not for me. It was hard!
I could not narrow down what I loved to do. I wanted to be creative. I wanted to be unique. I was complicating the heck out of it.
But then simplicity happened...
I weeded out the stuff I didn't care about, and I was left with the things that truly bring me joy.
So while sunrises are beautiful, I'm not often motivated to get up to see them. Especially in the winter.
And even though I love getting projects done, first thing out of bed, I'm not thinking about that.
I do tend to look at my phone first thing in the morning. Which is a terrible habit!!!
So I asked myself, what is one thing I am already doing in the morning, and what is one thing I'd like to incorporate.
See what I did there? You're welcome.
Well, I already drink coffee every morning. And the world is thankful that I do.
I also wanted to read my Bible more and do some study each day.
Why not start there?
Devos and coffee. Not a bad way to start the day.
In fact, it's quite lovely.
And not checking my phone for the first hour I am up helps immensely. Nothing interesting is happening on Facebook at 6am. Nothing.
A couple weeks ago at church, my pastor mentioned how we should be worshipping the Lord like the birds do. First thing in the mornings.
That really resonated with me. I mean, I've heard my whole life that I should have my devos in the morning. And usually it was followed with a "it builds character."
But this idea that nature itself worships Him first, and that I should to for that very reason, stuck with me.
My pastor also said, "If you worship Him first thing in the morning, you will worship Him all day long."
And that was just such a beautiful picture to me. The thought of worshipping Jesus all day long because that is how I started my day.
Don't misunderstand, it's been a challenge.
And this morning, I almost went back to bed.
Weekends are also hard, because I don't have a job holding me accountable to my schedule.
And, I still want a nap around noon.
But, I'm pretty excited to see where I am in about 6 months when this is a solid habit.
Because I think it's really good for me. And I want to be better about putting Him first.