simplicity 2016: a hundred bucks a week

Oh simplicity, bless your little heart. It is almost November and you have taught me so much.

I feel like I still have a lot to learn, but man, it's been so great. Exploring what it looks like to do more with less, to not complicate things, and to just enjoy what I have.

About a month and a half ago, when summer started to wind down and fall was beginning to be upon us, I started thinking about how I wanted to end the year.

Last year I ended with Dressember, and while I will be doing that again this year, I wanted to take it one step further.

I mentioned often in my blog posts that this year, I'm trying to focus on three specific areas of simplicity: stuff, money, technology.

And while I have a tendency to be hard on myself, and think that I am totally failing at life and this simplicity thing, I have to admit that it has gone pretty well.

I mean, I got rid of SO much stuff, I am saving more money than I was back in January and at times, I am on my phone less. Except when one of my interns turns me onto a new iPhone game.

Then it's bad.

Thanks a lot SarahJ...

But, this idea of spending less continues to intrigue me.

I look at my grandparents, I look at my friends in other countries, I read WAY to many articles on BuzzFeed... and I notice how happy and content people can be when they use what they have and spend less money.

I notice it the most in my own life when I am on vacation, or when I am traveling. I notice I am much more mindful of what things costs. I pay attention to what I do or don't buy. And I tend to use more cash than I do card.

It never fails, I am always surprised by how much money I have left over and how reduced my spending habits become.

So... how to translate all of that to the last month or two of 2016?

Cue "No Spend November." 

(If you don't know what it is, then just get on Pinterest, and you will wish you had never asked)

Originally, I was going to cut out all extra expenses for 30 days.

And while that might be a good idea in the future, we are coming up on the holiday season and I still would really like to go out with friends and immerse myself in some of the local festivities.

So, instead of a total spending freeze, I broke down my monthly expenses to see what the average weekly spending should be.

And then I lowered it 20%. Not an exact science by any means, but 10% felt to minor to feel the difference and 50% seemed unrealistic. So I found something in the middle.

For the next month, I am giving myself $120/week in cash to spend on groceries, gas, spending money, etc.

Once it's gone, it's gone. So I have to be strategic. Innovative. Scrappy.

The only exceptions for using a card are:

• if it's a purchase already in my budget (i.e. cell phone bill)
• if it's an emergency (i.e. stranded on the road, medical, etc)
• if for some reason I cannot pay with cash. (And if that is the case, I take the cash amount and reimburse my account)

My goal for the month is two fold.

I want to be a little more disciplined in my spending and see how I do with less.

And, I want to identify the areas in which I can be more generous with my finances.

I am realizing more and more that so many people have  far less than I do.

So, if I can be more frugal and give back, I think that's a good thing.

Especially since Jesus said a little something about that in Luke 11:5

Wish me luck and I'll keep you posted on my #nospendnovember

#simplicity2016

simplicity 2016: what is dressember?

Two years ago I attended an event at Seattle Pacific University that was raising awareness about human trafficking. It was a documentary showing and it was super intense. At least for me.

I'll be honest, it left me feeling very uncomfortable and at a loss for what my next step was supposed to be.

I now realize that was such a good place to be in. 

Because it launched me towards knowledge, understanding, and a desire to see change in the world.

Currently there are over 27 million people in slavery worldwide. That's just not okay, and I want to bring awareness and shed light so that we can change that statistic.

****

Last year, in order to find a way to get involved, I participated in a campaign called Dressember. 

In a nutshell, women use something inherently feminine (a dress) and use it to start conversations about the issue that is human trafficking; as well as try to raise funds that go towards rescuing people out of this terrible way of life.

For the entire month of December, I wore a dress everyday, took a picture, and posted on social media to spread the message. 

It was a truly powerful experience and I am doing it again this year. The only difference is that due to my theme of #simplicity, I will be wearing the same dress everyday for the entire month!

I think it is overall going to be such a good experience for me to simplify my everyday in order to give more thought to this serious issue. And how we can be apart of the change.

****

I would absolutely LOVE, is if you guys would consider joining me for the Dressember campaign.

However, I realize that not everyone is able to participate in the same way that I did. 

But, if you are interested in learning more about this and how you can make a difference, here are some ways to get involved:)

1) Consider giving up ONE specialty coffee and donating that money to my Dressember campaign

*One rescue mission costs approximately $100,000 start to finish, so every little bit helps!

2) Join our team and get in on the epicness that is Dressember:)

*If you can't wear a dress everyday, that's okay! You can still participate! And guys can get involved too! Wear a bow tie! That counts!

3) Share on social media this link to help bring awareness to the issue of human trafficking

*Awareness is a huge part of changing this narrative! How can we change what we do not know.

4) Be curious and willing to learn

*Books, documentaries, non-profit websites - the resources to learn are out there. Curiosity, even towards that which is uncomfortable, is a good thing.

Thanks so much for taking the time to read this and consider getting involved. 

Human beings are not commodities, and our world will be a much more beautiful place when we value the worth of someone for who they are, and not what they can be exploited for.

Feel feel to share and ask me more questions!!! Let's be world changers!

simplicity 2016: flat on my aster

Once upon a time, I took a class on Meyer's Briggs. For those who don't know anything about MB, check out this article, super helpful.

However, in a nutshell, it is a personality assessment designed to help you better understand why you do what you do, and how to do what you are best suited for.

One of the character traits is referred to as being a "J" - which stands for Judging.

Not an accurate word at all, because "J" basically means you are highly organized, appreciate things done in a sequential order and strive for order in your life.

And if any of you know me, you will know that my "J" is off the crazy charts.

If you give me a label maker and a day planner, I will conquer the whole frigging planet. In an hour.

Cause ain't nobody got time to waste time.

I often wonder though, why I am this way?

If it's wrong to be so organized and thorough.

If I need to cool it and just "go with the flow."

***

Two weeks ago I was in NY, celebrating my great grandmother's 99th birthday.

And while it was absolutely wonderful to be there, I left feeling unsettled.

And to be truthful, I also didn't really want to leave.

I didn't want to leave her.

I didn't want to leave how at home I felt there.

I didn't want to leave the deep sense of belonging that almost overtook me when I drive onto her property.

***

As I was walking through her garden taking pictures one afternoon, I stopped and held my breath as I watched bees pollinating the flowers.

I quickly snapped a few photos, and then I just stood there in complete envy.

Yes. You read that correctly.

I was envious. Of some bees.

And here is why....

They have ONE job.
They do their job.
They aren't running around trying to do everyone else's job.

They have a schedule.
They know when to work and when to rest.
There is only one leader they follow.

They don't have emails.
They don't have cellphones.
They don't have calendar invites, bills, or anything else weighing them down.

Their life seems...simple.

***

I've been home for two weeks now, and I still can't shake this unsettled feeling.

A little out of place. Not sure what direction I am headed in.

Which is crazy, because I have so much going on right now. And it's all really really good.

But, as I was sitting in the Meyer's Briggs training today, I FINALLY felt like I had a break through.

Two nights ago I was reading Martha Steward Living - don't you dare judge me, she is BRILLIANT!

And as I read through her calendar for October, where she tells you what to start planting and what she is harvesting for winter, that's when it hit me.

Why I feel so at home at my great grandmother's house. And why I have the same feeling on my uncle and gramma's farm.

I'll try to explain it like this:

• Farms and gardens run on a seasonal calendar. 

• You have to plant and harvest your crops at a certain time, or you won't have any bounty.

• I mean, weather is always a factor. But you can't control that. You have to prepare and then just wait.

• There is predictability and structure.

• A specific role and a specific desired outcome.

• A farmer plants crops, a bee pollinates the plants, the earth changes seasons and new life comes into the world.

It's this cyclical calendar of events, that while it has the potential for being mind numbingly boring, it's not.

Because it's always a little bit different.
A chance for new beginnings and a fresh start.
And I think that's what I am craving a little bit.

Schedule, predictability, a need for things to be done in a certain way in order to obtain a certain outcome.

While I often judge myself harshly for this desire for order and schedule, I think I'm beginning to realize it's something rooted so deeply within me, I don't think I could shut it down even if I wanted to.

There is something inexplicably beautiful about the natural order of the earth. And I really, really love it.

That realization? Leaves me feeling like I have had the wind knocked out of me and then knocked flat on my aster.

Get it? Aster? A flower? #dadjoke

***

Don't get me wrong, I love my job and I love my life.

It's just.... when I am with these amazing women, on the properties where they have and are building their lives, things make more sense.

Stuff isn't so urgent. We just are.  We get up early, enjoy the day quietly, share a nice meal, and then go to sleep.

If this was my routine, day in and day out, I might get a little bored. Maybe not though.

But, if I could find a way to incorporate this spirit of just being into my daily schedule, I have a feeling I might feel a little more settled.

Or maybe, I just need to go plant some asters.

#simplicity2016

simplicity 2016: jesus and simplicity

Simplicity is hard.

And that's incredible annoying to realize.

At least, it's hard for me.

Gosh, I started out with such fervor and zeal, and I pridefully thought I could just coast through a year of simplicity.

I don't think my pride was out of arrogance, but nonetheless, it was pride. And it was mine. And I own it.

I guess I thought that cutting back on my spending would be easy. Because I thought I didn't spend a lot to begin with.

Oh Mint.com, how quickly you make a liar out of me.

I thought I could get off my dang phone. Get off BuzzFeed and stop mindlessly scrolling Facebook.

My three year self with her security blanket is laughing at my 28 year old self and her cellphone.

Why? Cause the blanket and the phone are the same thing....

Stuff. In this area, I have been okay.

But lately? I have been feeling suffocated by anything that doesn't have a specific place and function in my daily life.

Not sure that's a reason to get rid of everything I own, but it definitely occupies a lot of head space.

Like, I know I need to keep my fire extinguisher, but it just keeps sitting there, collecting dust. And like a crazy mania, I keeping eyeing it and thinking about how much cleaner that corner will look without anything in it.

Really I am just a crazy nut who wants to throw everything away and will then have instant remorse and get on her phone and use the Amazon app to replace everything she just threw away.

See my problem?!? #thestruggleisreal

But about a week ago, I was talking with my friend and coworker, Kyle, about simplicity. He asked me to speak about it at Serve Seattle in December, so I was asking if he had anything specific he wanted to me to touch on.

He said something that I haven't been able to get out of my head. He said, "Well, you're probably going to have to explain the concept of simplicity, because most people won't know really what you mean. And, you know, talk about what Jesus says about simplicity. Stuff like that."

Um....

I have been doing "simplicity" for almost nine months, but I haven't stopped to think about what Jesus says about the subject...

So maybe, just maybe, that is why I have been having such a hard time with it lately.

I have been trying to do it in my own strength. And I am completely overwhelmed and slightly embarrassed by that fact.

I'm trying to be simple in my daily life, but there are all these little empty pockets that I keep filling with technology, spending and things.

Instead of letting Jesus come in and fill those areas of void in my life.

And there are areas of void. Because I am human and so very far from perfect.

No matter how many times I try and tell myself I have it all together.

After my chat with Kyle, I started to wonder what it would look like to spend the rest of this year focusing more on Jesus and less on the three areas I have been focusing on.

No, I won't be stopping simplicity. But, I am super curious what bringing it all back to the foot of His throne would do.

I am curious if my spending would shift if I spent my mornings in prayer instead of running out the door and buying latte on my way in to work.

I wonder if I would be on my phone less if I was journaling or reading the Word at night instead of falling asleep while scrolling Instagram.

I also tend to think that if I spend more time worshipping the One who has given me so much, I will see the value and abundance in what is around me. And I will be less inclined to fill my life with things.

A few nights ago, I had a little worship session with myself. Oh, and my Facebook friends, because I put in on Live.

And it was this truly powerful moment. Instead of overthinking every word like I am doing right now, I just talked. And sang. And tried to be as authentic as I could be.

I went to bed and didn't really think much about it.

But the next day I got the sweetest message from my friend Emily. Oh, did I mention she does INCREDIBLE graphics work? And that she made me something AMAZING after watching my video??

Well, she did, and it's awesome, and I love it.

But what I love most is this....

I have a fantastic community of people and friends who love Jesus and love me.

Sometimes, in the hustle of life, I forget that I have such immediate access to the most loving people in the world. I forget and instead, buy stuff. Or eat out. Or hang out on my phone.

I forget how blessed I am. But when Emily made this beautiful graphic for me, I was reminded once again why I quite simply, adore the body of Christ.

I see so much of Him in the people I have in my corner.

And when I focus on them, and on Him, I find myself less likely to fill my time and space with other things.

So, the tender voice of Jesus is calling me to Him. And I truly think I will find the answers I seek about simplicity there at His feet.

Until next time...

#simplicity2016

simplicity 2016: shuttle express

Simplicity has felt really hard lately.

I mean, I developed what I thought was a really good rhythm, but.... Gosh I'm feeling inadequate as a result. 

I want to throw away and hoard everything at the same time. 

I don't want to manage my stuff, but I want to at the same time.

It's also 4:30 on a Thursday morning and I'm getting ready to head to the airport. 

Which is great. Because vacation. But could also explain my dejected mood.

As I was packing last night, I struggled to fit everything in my bag and for the first time in YEARS I considered checking my bag.

What the heck.... I have always and will continue to refuse to pay that ridiculous fee.

Then I realize my bag is soo full because I packed my new camera.

I want to play around with it and figure a sunny beach is a perfect place to do so. 

But then I start wondering if that's a good idea and is it really simplifying to bring it of it takes up so much space...Etc, etc, etc

Oh, and then the awkward moment of the day --- 

Shuttle Express was scheduled to pick me up. But, they didn't call me. 

They KNOCKED on the front door. 

Not my front door. 

My landlords front door. 

At 4:30 in the morning. 

They called me. 

I'm almost positive they were PISSED, lol

Which really doesn't bother me (well, maybe a little) because of all the times they've woken me up.

They are super loud....

Anyway... I'll call later and apologize.

Still, kinda funny...

Honestly, it probably wouldn't have happened that way if I had arranged my ride earlier. 

Which I didn't. 

Because I'm apparently very unorganized.

Oh, and this shuttle smells like cigarettes 

I think it's from the lady riding with me. She kinda smells like my Gramma Betty.

Oh, and she looks a thousand times more put together than I do!

And since I'm creeping on the drivers iPad (cause I still don't believe him about the no call), I can see SHE was picked up at 3:50. 

AM. As in the morning.....

And she is wearing earrings. 

And her hair is done. 

What is my life that I even try...

Oh, and she's wearing something with a collar- so you know she ironed it. 

This girl? Doesn't iron. Ever.

I throw it in the dryer and call it good enough.

Even though I own an iron and ironing board.

Because I'm a grown ass woman and somewhere along the way I figured I should have one. 

Truthfully, it's actually a really good thing that I'm going to dive headfirst into the rest of Shauna's book.

Because at this exact moment - 447am - I feel like an utter failure at life.

And you want to know why???

There is trash under my sink, food that will go bad in my fridge, a floor that needs to be swept and a dishwasher that I didn't start before I left the house. 

Oh, and I woke my landlords up at 430. 

Well the shuttle express guy did, but you know what I mean.

So even though I made my bed before I left, all I can see is the undone. 

The incomplete. 

The to do list that wasn't finished.

And, even though I did some of that intentionally, I still don't like it. 

It makes me uncomfortable. 

And I know I should sit with that for a bit.

Or at least my two hour flight to LA.

But first, coffee.

And then I'll sit.

#simplicity2016

simplicity 2016: one to two at a time

Last week I went to a conference.

Well, really it was a satellite site for a conference. 

Honestly, it really doesn't matter where it was or what the set up was. 

What really matters it what the take aways were for me. 

And how they are still running through my brain at a thousand miles a minute.

My thoughts in a nutshell (because #simplicity) are as follows:

1) stop trying to be perfect. be present

2) one goal at a time. maybe two. done well is more effective than four-six goals not done at all.

3) reflection is important

4) stay put (well, that one wasn't something I got from the conference, but it's what I said to myself several times over those two days. because I needed the reminder).

Shauna Niequest wrote this new book called Present Over Perfect and quite frankly, it's rocking my world. If you know me at all, you know that I like things neat, organized, orderly and predictable. In fact, I'd even go so far as to say it is my personal code to be that way. And last year, when I was focused on my theme of #dolife, I tried to reign that side in a little. But this year, it's escaping me a tad. 

And then I read this phrase in Shauna's book, "Who told me that keeping everything organized would deliver happiness? What a weird prescription for happiness. Why do I think managing my possessions is a meaningful way of spending my time?"

I felt punched in the gut. Totally breathless as I processed this idea that maybe, just maybe, being so on top of things wasn't what God was calling me to do. I mean, I don't think being organized is bad. But if I am using it to define my identity, then we have a serious issue.

And quite possibly, He is calling me into creativity instead of structure. Imagination instead of absolutes. Daydreams instead of spreadsheets.

***

Then there is this idea of one goal at a time. I am absolutely terrible at this. I have seventeen thousand ideas in my head and I think I have to do all of them. No, I truly and deeply believe in the depths of my soul that I have to do them. All of them. One hundred and ten percent. Or else I am a failure at life.

So... I'm going to give this one goal thing a shot. And it feels so weird.

I have a full time job - my goal is to be intentional with my time

I have a business - my goal is my Instagram account and making it as pretty as can be. 

I have a life (at least I tell myself I do) - and I'm not sure what my personal goal is

Technically you could say I have three goals. But for someone who usually has a hundred sub-goals, one in each category feels really healthy. I'll let you know how it goes.

***

Reflection - specifically self reflection is super healthy. 

And I would say that I do a fair amount of it. 

But what I don't do is meditate on it after. 

I just self assess and move on. 

Not really sitting with how I'm doing.

Yoga and meditation are actually super healing practices for me. Maybe that's my personal goal. To do more of that.

***

Ah, staying put. This one I am excited about. Like really really excited.

Remember when I said I was going to have to move?

Well, I don't have to move. And that's pretty rad. Because I love my home.

And in total honesty? I didn't trust or obey super well in this process. But Jesus really loves me and has great patience and grace with me.

It's a cool story for another day and another post. I just really wanted to share that with you guys.

***

I have a strange feeling that the next four months of 2016 are going to blow my mind. And I don't really know what that means, but I am excited for it.

“The greatest step towards a life of simplicity is to learn to let go.” 

― Steve Maraboli

simplicity 2016: feeling my privilege

Tonight I went to a prayer vigil for Alton Sterling and Philando Castile.

If you don't know who they are, educate yourself, immediately.

No excuses. No reasons why it doesn't affect you. It does affect you. So learn and be humble.

Tonight, I stood in a crowd of over a thousand people. In the pouring rain. And I listened.

I listened to the passionate and gracious words of black leaders in our community who, rather than berate those who have wronged them, offered grace and a request for accountability and justice.

It was truly humbling.

Because, as a white, middle class, evangelical (with a dash of liberality) Christian woman, I have heard people complain about persecution my whole life. Specifically surrounding faith.

Now, I am not ignorant, and I can read a history book. But in America today, my personal opinion is that Christians are the least persecuted people group in this nation.

And I might lose a couple of you over this, but I have never been persecuted for my faith. Ever.

Made fun of? Maybe once or twice. But not really.

In all honesty, I have received far more negative aggression for being a woman than I have for being a Christian.

But even that isn't what I would call persecution.

What happened in orlando? What happened this week with Alton Sterling and Philando Castro? What has happened within the black community over the last several years?

That's persecution. whether you want to admit it or not.

And tonight, I looked around and felt the depth of my privilege.

And it was acutely uncomfortable.

And it wasn't just feeling the privilege that comes with the color of my skin.

I was intensely feeling the privilege of how I was raised.

You see, growing up, my dad was the police.

And to me, he  and his friends were the safest people in the whole wide world.

He taught me that everyone is equal. He told me that certain words were never to be spoken because of how disrespectful, hurtful and defensive they were to other people.

Once, I stupidly made fun of a friend's doo-rag, and he had me call up my friend and apologize. He told me "that's his culture and there is nothing wrong with it. So you shouldn't make fun. That's hurtful and not right."

I had friends of all different nationalities and backgrounds and never really thought anything about it; in large part because my dad never treated anyone any different and taught me to do the same.

But standing there in the pouring rain and realizing that to most of the people gathered there, my dad would've been the enemy, my heart broke.

Like I mentioned before, I felt my privilege and it was making me uncomfortable. And I think that was good.

Because, I felt my privilege when the man standing next to me seemed surprised that I took his hand when we prayed.

I felt it when I looked around at the police officers across the street and felt kinship instead of fear. Knowing I could approach them with total guile and trust, while also knowing I was probably one of the few who felt that way.

I felt it when I shook the speaker's hand and he thanked me profusely for coming - like it was a surprise I was there. It shouldn't have been so, but it was.

I wrestled all the way home with the amount of grief I was feeling.

Feeling like it wasn't my sorrow to grieve over; and yet, at the same time, feeling like it is worth grieving over, and that I should have a reaction.

And I do. Several actually...

I'm pissed. And sad. And confused. Puzzled even.

I'm pissed. Pissed that shitty cops give the wonderful men and women in law enforcement a bad name. It seriously enrages me. Because those very men and women who are wonderful humans, stood next to me and loved me when my dad died. And they still love me to this day.  So those cops in Louisiana and Minnesota who are not fit to wear their uniforms? Yeah, they piss me off and make me all kinds of angry.

I'm sad. So incredibly sad that a 15 year old boy is now without a father. Hearing the son of Alton Sterling weep on the radio this afternoon took me back hard. I was almost 15 when my dad died. And while the circumstances are in no way comparable, it is still the deepest of griefs. And I feel for him. So intensely. I can only imagine that his grief and sorrow is deeper because his father's murder could've been avoided.

I'm confused. So fricking confused why it is so hard to get justice for people who have already fought so hard for it. And we in our privilege would say that they have it. But really, we would just be talking out our asses because oppression is still a daily part of the life of a person of color. And that's something we don't know anything about. So we should keep our opinions to a minimum.

I'm puzzled. Puzzled why so many people will post all over Facebook about the Supreme Court decision to legalize marriage for all people and how "appalled" we are about it, but when an entire people group are targeted in Orlando and black men are gunned down by dirty cops, the internet falls silent. At least the side of the internet I am seeing in my newsfeed...

Guys, we have to do better. We have to. It's not an option. Jesus says that we are to stand up for those who are oppressed and afflicted. But we aren't doing it. We are burying our heads in the sand and acting like it's not a big deal or that it doesn't affect us. But it does. Or at least it should.

Change starts with us. And it doesn't start by us using politically correct jargon or acting like we get it. It starts by acknowledging our privilege and accepting that it's our very privilege that gives us a platform on which to stand up for our friends.

"We already know that all lives matter, this movement is just about the fact that black lives matter too..."

#blacklivesmatter