High Five for Friday

So for the past couple of months, I have been following a fun, quirky, educational (yes, shoes are educationalJ) blog. And every Friday, people link up and share five things about their week. It’s called “High Five for Friday” and it is promoted by Lauren at FromMyGreyDesk And, I have finally decided to give it a try. Not that my life is all that exciting, but I thought of a couple things this week I felt like sharingJ

Deep breath….. Okay, here goes nothing….lol

I am glad that Mondays only come once a week – and I am glad that coffee makes them more bearable

Salted caramel ice cream is the true love of my life, next to Jesus, of courseJ

  

Why Worry? by NewSong

“Why Worry?” by NewSong is an awesome song when you are feeling a wee bit down:)

Organization makes me a happy person – I know, I’m a tad strange (explanation: I got super organized at work (which makes me happy), and other people are appreciating it (which equals more happiness, haha)

My brother – I am pretty proud of him this week – enough saidJ

So there is my High Five for Friday! I honestly could have listed more than five things, but those could come in a later post. Most important thing I was reminded of this week, is how wonderful and amazing it is to have Jesus…. Always and forever

“O Lord, you have searched me and you know me.”

Forever Yours

Today let’s be real. Let’s be genuine. Let’s not give coached responses or expected answers. Let’s just talk about Jesus. It’s something that we don’t do enough of in all honesty.

Today I am not going to be funny. I am not going to be witty with a clever poem. I am not even going to try to be inspiring. I am just going to be real.

For a long time I tried to fit into this box that I thought other people wanted me to fit into. I told myself that I should be able to fit into that box and that if I couldn’t or struggled with it, something was wrong with my spirit.

But one day, Jesus reminded me that when I get saved, I’m not supposed to fit into anything.

Now, before some people tune out right here, please, please let me finish.

I am not supposed to fit into any box, because when I get saved, the Holy Spirit fills ME! There is no box. There is the temple of the Holy Spirit known as my body, and that is the only thing that should be filled. And when that is filled and I am yielded to Him, everything changes!

So here I was, trying to force myself into something, when in reality, the Holy Spirit was trying to remind me I was already filled. I am filled by Him. I am led by Him. I am guided and taught by Him.

And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Below is my love story…

It is perfect…. It is forever…. And it is still be written…

Thank you Jesus…. For always being mine…. I love You

Forever Yours

You know, we’ve been together a long time.

I got to thinking about it the other day, and we have been together for almost 14 years now.

It will be 14 exactly on September 21^st.

I still vividly remember the day that You made me Yours.

My tears were flowing so freely that day.

They were happy tears though. Tears of relief because of the weight that was taken off of my shoulders.

I knew that I wouldn’t have to be alone ever again.

When people ask where we exchanged our vows, I always chuckle when I tell them, “By the bathroom!”

But it’s like You tell me all the time, “It doesn’t matter where, it just matters the commitment”

Most have some sort of honeymoon stage where everything is on fire because it is so new.

But it really wasn’t that way with me.

I mean, I was seeing things differently, but it took longer for me to warm up to You, I think.

I mean, you know I was a very dutiful companion to You, but that’s just it… I was dutiful. Not necessarily devoted.

But when I needed You most, You were right there.

I have to admit that at the time I was pretty upset with You for not fixing it.

You let me be upset though, and then when I was ready to listen, You very gently explained to me that You knew best. And you even let me see how it all came together.

I know You don’t usually do that, but thanks for doing it for me.

I think it was then I knew how deeply I loved You.

I always knew that You were everything to me, but for the first time, I was truly able to call You my best friend.

And not because You weren’t that before, but because I was finally able to “see” it.

From then on, it has been a continually love fest!

I love how we talk in the car when it’s just us.

Or how I run my day by You and You never get annoyed that I ramble or rabbit trail.

You know I’ll always get to the point.

I love how when I do need to be set straight, you do it with a hug and not a hammer…

That helps me the most I think. Because, You know me, and You know that I am very tenderhearted and responsive when it comes to You.

It is because of Your patience and devotion, I want to show You every single day how much I love You.

I know that some days I am far from perfect, but what I love more than anything is how available You are to me. To help me, and to love me.

When You committed Yourself to me, You did it completely. Just as I strive to do with You.

Now I know that sometimes people go back on their promises. And I in no way think that I am above anyone else, or that I am even the exception to the rule.

But the thing is I want to be the exception. I want to be the one who never leaves Your side, who never turns against You, and who runs to You and You alone when I have nowhere else to turn.

You are my everything. In You I have found eternal love, unbelievable mercy, and never ending joy.

You gave abundantly, so that I could have everything.

You are my comforter, protector, guardian and friend.

You are my Jesus, and I am completely and eternally,

Forever yours….

Ten Years and a Little Black Dress

A lot can happen in ten years, especially while wearing a little black dressJ I mean, let’s be honest, what girl doesn’t feel like she can take on the world in her LBD? It can make you feel confident, beautiful, ready to take on the world.

Still, I can’t say that was my little black dress experience. No, mine was entirely different, but I wouldn’t change it, because, this black number reminded me about love. And who would want to miss out on that?

Ten years ago, May 18, 2002, my life changed drastically. Never to be the same.

Ten years ago, I lost my hero. My rock. My best friend.

Ten years ago, my dad went home to be with Jesus – and my world was shaken. I went home from the hospital,  the night he died, completely lost, not knowing what in the world I was supposed to do next. Feeling more alone than I ever had in my life, not knowing if I would ever feel normal again.  

So, for the sake of being transparent and real, I will tell you what I did that night.

My grandma drove us home from the hospital, and I sat in the back seat while my brother bawled in the front. I wish I could have cried so freely, but I couldn’t. What I wanted to do was shut my brain off entirely, but that wasn’t happening. We got home, and my mom got there shortly after we did. I sat down on the couch, and, well, I turned on the television. Maybe I should be ashamed of that, or maybe I shouldn’t. Ten years later, I really don’t think that it matters either way. I turned on the tv, with a blanket, and curled up in the spot where my dad had sat just the night before.

Looking back, I think I just wanted to be close to him, and that was the best I could do at the time. Adding the television was just a way of keeping me from thinking too much. I stayed on the couch for awhile, watching some makeover show about this couple celebrating their 35^th wedding anniversary. How I remember this, I have no idea. I do remember getting really ticked off at this point, because I knew my parents would NEVER have that, so I got mad and turned it off.

The next morning we went to church as usual. And the love that we were shown that day… It was almost unbelievable. But at the same time it wasn’t. Growing up in the same church has its advantages, one of them being, length of tenure gives room to a lot of love from cultivated relationships. Although I only remember snippets of that day, I can never forget the love shown to us….never

Later on that week we had my dad’s service. It was….inspiring. Because my dad was a Seattle Police Officer, there were quite a few service men and women at his funeral. But here is the awesome part – most of them were there because they knew and respected my dad. That was such an honor to him and his reputation as a man and an officer. I couldn’t have been prouder. Six hundred people packed out the auditorium that day. Twenty five of them accepting Christ, and countless more encouraged by the testimonies given about my father. How I stood in front of that many people I will never know. I was 14 years old, and I stood in front of 600+ people like it was nothing. I didn’t even cry….

Some people might refer to it as having composure, but probably, I was still in shock and just going through the motions. I don’t remember most of what I said, but the one thing that I do remember is this. As I was trying to wrap up my tribute to my dad, I mentioned that I didn’t want people to forget him. That was and is still a fear of mine. That people will forget what an amazing man he was. That they will forget how he touched their lives. I could never forget, and I didn’t want other people to forget either. And you know what? Ten years later, people still tell me how much they loved my dad… Check it out Dad, you’re famousJ

Time continued as it does and will, and I grew up, or tried to at least. I tried to be strong, to fill his shoes, to step up to the plate. But, I never felt like I did it justice, I couldn’t ever seem to do it right. I now know that it wasn’t my role to fill. That I wasn’t him, nor should I have expected myself to try and be him. Yet, I somehow thought it was my responsibility to emotionally take care of my family. To fill in the gaps that he left behind.

Grief does crazy things to a person. For me, my grief put responsibilities on my shoulders that didn’t need to be there. Did I need to grow up? Sure I did. But I needed to grow up as a teenage girl, not grow up trying to fill the shoes of a grown man who had been a husband and father. However, I believe the Lord uses everything for good and to His glory. And my expectations of myself are no different. The Lord took this crazy drive inside me and used it for good.

In high school, I hit the ground running, and in all honestly, haven’t stopped since.

I was involved in everything: Nursery, bus route, teen choir, 4-5 yr old junior church, playing piano for church service/sunshine church/junior church. Did I mention that I also worked at the school, cleaned houses and babysat, all while maintaining a 4.0 GPA? Yes world, I was Wonder Woman. Haha, just kidding….. I was straight up crazy is what I wasJ

But it was through all of these experiences that I have become the woman that I am today. It was through one of these particular experiences, I was reminded about love and thoughtfulness in a most unexpected way.

One of the sweetest elderly couples in our church had been running the children’s church hour for years, and when she broke her arm, her husband asked if I would step in and be the pianist. Of course I said yes! I hadn’t learned to say no yet, haha, and I am glad that in this instance, I said yes.

So began my junior church piano careerJ Should I really have been nervous in front of 10 year olds? Probably not, but sure enough, I was. Once I got the hang of it though, it was a lot of fun. One Sunday evening, after a long day of ministry, this man approached me and handed me $20. Puzzled, I looked at him, waiting for an explanation. He then said something I will never forget. He said, “There is a store in town where you can get a nice dress for around $20. Whenever my granddaughter is in town, I take her there, and I buy her a new dress. I want to give you this so you can go buy yourself a new dress too.”

I stood there, not really knowing what to say. I was moved beyond words. This was a thoughtful and generous gift. This was something unexpected and lovely. Tears came to my eyes as I thanked him. I went home, feeling very loved and very humbled. You see, the last person to buy me a new dress had been my dad. This man didn’t know that, but Jesus did. And just that was enough to keep my tears coming for awhile.

So here is where I tie it all together.

Today, I am going to wake up, walk into my closet and put on my little black dress. Yes, the little black dress that Mr. Pennington bought me, I am going to wear it. I am going to wear it and pray for him. I am going to wear it and think about my dad. I am going to wear it and go to work with a smile on my face and a song in my heart.

For the tenth year in a row, I am waking up without my dad. And one day, I am going to wake up knowing I’m not going to see my friend at church anymore. One day, I will take my beautiful dress to a thrift store because it no longer fits or is out of style or is worn.  But, even though people and things pass away, I will always have these precious memories. I will always have the memory of my dad –  teaching me about baseball, and life, and Dick’s Drive In. (Praise the Lord). I will always have the memory of his laugh, wishing all the time that I could just hear it once more. The memory of my time playing piano in junior church will always be there. The feeling of buying that brand new dress will never leave me. The smile on my friend’s face will always be imprinted in my mind and on my heart.

A lot can happen in ten years, especially in a little black dress. A lot can happen, a lot can change. But let me tell you folks, Jesus never changes. Jesus is always the same. Jesus will never leave me. Jesus will never forsake me. And He is always there, reminding me of how big and great HE is. Yet, in all that greatness, He still finds the time to remind me of how precious I am to Him.

And He reminds me of that fact every time someone talks about my dad, and every time I put on that little black dress.

To the Third

MS₃

October 2007

I was sitting in an airport, talking on the phone, when suddenly I started slurring my words. Strange thing was, I could feel it coming on, and could stop talking soon enough so that the person I was talking to didn’t seem to notice. I thought it was odd, but chalked it up to jetlag and being exhausted from midterms. Over the course of the next week, it continued. My friends thought I was talking funny on purpose, but I started to get a little worried when it didn’t go away. Then the hand problems started. I couldn’t grip my pen while I was taking notes in class. I couldn’t play my scales during my piano lessons. The slurring was getting more and more frequent, and I was also becoming more unsteady on my feet. Something wasn’t right, and in the pit of my stomach, I knew what it was…

November 2007

I had called my mom after about a week of symptoms. She was a little worried, and suggested I go see a neurologist. I made an appointment with a local doctor for later that week. Looking back, I really should have taken someone with me to that appointment, but the thought didn’t even occur to me. I had done so many other things on my own, that it seemed entirely natural to go alone. That is one thing that is different today, I won’t go alone again. And another thing – I could have asked several different people to go with me that day, but I just didn’t ask. I now know that I can, and that is an amazing feeling…

When I got to the doctor’s office and sat down with the neurologist, I explained to him all the symptoms that I was having. He got very serious and said to me that we needed to rule out two things right away. Lupus and multiple sclerosis. When he said that, I tried to school my features and be brave, but all I really wanted to do was run out of that office and never come back. I called my mom, and we scheduled my trip home. I had to come home for all my doctor appointments, and would have to miss about two weeks of classes. To say I was annoyed would be an understatement.

After getting off the phone with my mom, I went back to the dorms. I found my room empty – I was relieved. The first thing I did was grab my Bible and kneel down in a ball on the floor. I began to weep. I was really scared. I said, “Lord, I don’t understand completely what’s going on right now, but could you please give me a promise from You that everything is going to be ok?”

Now, I know that the Bible is filled with promises. “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart..”
“All things work together for good..” “Take everything to God in prayer…” I could go on and on. And the thing is, these are all wonderful and amazing promises. But, I wanted one that was personal. One that would remind me everytime I heard it, that God had my back, regardless of the outcome. I opened my Bible, and the first page that it landed on was Psalm 18. I began to read, and when I read verse 19, I wept. I wept with fear, relief, heartache, and a myriad of other emotions. This is the promise that the Lord gave me…

“He brought me forth also into a large place; he delivered me, because he delighted in me.”


I knew in that moment, no matter the outcome, everything was going to be alright. Now, I didn’t say everything was going to be perfect, but it was going to be alright. If my diagnosis was going to be one of the two that the doctor mention,ed then I knew it wasn’t because Jesus was angry with me, it was because He delighted in me.

Now, I am not a martyr and I want to make that clear early on in my story. There are days when my spirit is discouraged, and I get very frustrated with the path that I am on; but I NEVER doubt His love for me through all of this. This verse is my constant reminder of His incredible love.


December 2007-February 2008


Back to Seattle I went, constantly back and forth to the doctor and home. Doctor and home. Doctor and home. When I wasn’t getting tested, I was studying for the tests that I was missing. Those few weeks at home are still a bit of a blur. But at the end of those two weeks, I went back to college without any answers, just in time for finals. Which, on a side note, I think I made straight As on all of them that semester. A fact, of which, I am EXTREMELY proud, lol. After finals I came home for winter break. I spent a lot of time resting, and planning the next semester, and trying not to worry about my diagnosis.


On the morning of January 4^th, I went back to my neurologist, sat in his office, and listened to him tell me that I had the beginning stages of multiple sclerosis. He told me about treatments. He told me that it’s different for everyone. He told me that I could go my entire life without another flare up. He also told me that some people have MS and cancer at the same time, and that they say the MS is worse than the cancer… Gee, thank you soo much. I am 20 years old, just got this diagnosis, and this is the information you choose to share with me. I want to punch you….


Before leaving his office, I gathered information about treatment options, made a follow up for a couple days out, and left. My mom and I walked down the hall, got in the elevator, got down to the parking garage, got in the car, and my mom broke down. I just sat there. Numb. Wanting to run away. Wanting to curl up in a ball and not come out for awhile. But, that is not me. That is not how I typically handle things. Looking back, maybe I should have gone a little crazy. Maybe I should have had a meltdown. But I didn’t. I went home with my mom, looked her in the eye and said, “Well, I know that God has a plan and I want to go back to college for this upcoming semester.” Now, I didn’t say it exactly like that, because, like I said, the afternoon is a bit blurry. But I did decide to not sit out a semester. To go back as planned. I am a fighter, I hate losing. And, the truth was, I had lost alot things in my life, and I wasn’t quite ready to let go of anything else.


I got back to college that semester, and honestly, it was really hard. I was tired ALL the time. I felt like I had the flu. I couldn’t remember squat. Because, apparently, that is another symptom of MS, cognitive capabilities going out the window. And for a girl with a 4.0 GPA, not remembering what you study, stinks, big time. When I flunked a midterm, I bawled. I bawled because I had been too exhausted to study for it. I bawled, because even though I had studied through my exhaustion, I couldn’t remember a stinking thing that I had studied. My pride took a serious beating that semester. But maybe, that was the point. Maybe my focus had gotten a little out of proportion. This thought stuck with me, and during a chapel message about a week later, I was inspired.


I decided that I wanted the letters “MS” to mean something different to me. I didn’t want to think of my disease every single time I saw those letters. I wanted to be encouraged. I wanted the Lord to give me something that I could pair with my verse. But I was stumped. I couldn’t just think of two words. So Jesus gave me a phrase. He gave me a mantra. He gave me hope…


MS might mean multiple sclerosis to some people, but this is what it means to me…

My Saviour, Meets Sufficiently, My Struggles

That morning in chapel, I changed my perspective. Everytime I thought that I couldn’t push through the fatigue or discomfort, I would remind myself of this fact. That no matter what happens; HE is always there and always meets my needs. Maybe not my wants, but my needs….always.


Fast Forward →March 2012


Let me jump ahead quite a bit. Otherwise, we will be here for awhile, and I have already taken probably a lot of your time. That is, if you are still reading thisJ

To give a rundown of the time we are jetting past – I graduated college, without missing a semester (3.46GPA, just to brag for a minute). I moved back to Seattle, working 3 part time jobs until the Lord provided 1 full time job. I moved in with some friends, learning more about life and myself than you could from a paid therapistJ


But amidst all of that, I still felt pretty awful, 80% of the time. And to be honest, I was starting to get a little mentally and emotionally weary. I was 24 years old! I wanted to do things! I wanted to go places! I didn’t want to come home from work, crawl in bed for two hours, and THEN try to make dinner for myself. Yes, I was that tired, all the time. I didn’t like missing church because of how I felt. Especially when looking at me – nothing seemed to be wrong with me. I was getting a little discouraged. I still knew that God had a plan, and had seen some fruit from it, but nonetheless, I was tired, and once again, I needed some holy hope from my Dad.


The two things that I was most afraid of losing to MS were my music and my words. I love music and writing with a passion. And when the slurring and hand weakness were there in the beginning (they have since gone away), I was very much afraid of losing those two things. So the Lord, challenged me with that fear. It was almost as if He said, “Use it while you have it Elizabeth. I gave it to you, don’t waste it.” It took me awhile to get there, but I am getting better at stepping out there with these two loves of mine. I sing to myself mostly, but when I get a chance to sing for other people, I am getting braver at taking that opportunity. Probably one of the biggest steps I took was starting this blog. I had been writing for myself for years, but hadn’t been sharing it with anyone. And the Lord would not let up with me about sharing it. He knew that it would be healing for me. And it has been.


So, amidst all the fatigue and weariness, I was trying to still make the most of the energy that I had by going after my writing and music. And then He gave me hope.


A few years earlier, a doctor mentioned that some people with MS or other autoimmune diseases, cut wheat and gluten out of their diet and experience unbelievable results. At the time, I didn’t have the money or the energy to think about making a change like that. But fast forward to present day (aka – full time job$$) and the prodding of a friend, I started doing some research. After what I read, I cut out gluten. I mean I went cold turkey off wheat. And, oh my word…. For the first time in 4 years, I had energy. I was practically bouncing off the walls. I didn’t have to sit down 20 times a day at work. I was running all over the place, getting more done in a day than I used to get done in a week.


The Lord had given me a huge blessing, and I wept with gratitude and appreciation.


But, then I got a little cocky, and this is where the story is winding down. Because I was feeling soo much better, I got lazy with my shots. Oh yeah, did I mention that my treatment option was daily injections? Yeah, not the most pleasant experience in the world, and I have site reactions which makes it even more annoying. Anyway, I got lazy and started skipping shots. And….I had a flare up. Thankfully it only lasted about a week, but it scared me, and I went to my doctor for a much needed check up.


It was there that the Lord gave me two MORE blessings. 1) there was now medicine in pill form, and I could possibly get off my shots. 2) the MS center at my hospital has an annual art show for people with MS or people affected by MS to enter anything of their choosing. (photography, painting, craft, etc…)

Now, I realized the blessing of the new medication right away, but the art show blessing was a longer time coming. You see, I hand make cards for people all the time, but never really worked with a canvas bigger than 4” x 6”. Until recently anyway… I had written a couple poems for friends, matted, decorated and framed them as gifts. And they turned out quite lovely in my opinionJ So when I took a closer look at the art show flyer, I started thinking. I had been wanting to share my MS phrase for awhile, but wasn’t really sure how to go about it. This art show gave me a chance to push myself and to take charge of this thing in my life.

                                                  This is what I designed and created.

This is how I view my disease. Not as something that defines me, but rather, I define it. No... God defines it. This disease doesn’t control my life. Jesus controls my life. He guides, He directs, He lets be what will be. Something ugly was sent into my life, but Jesus has made it beautiful. Jesus has taught me to live each day to the fullest. To never take for granted the smallest of blessings. To appreciate everything around me for the wonder and miracle that it is. To realize that people are more important than things, and that the whispering of the Holy Spirit should speak louder to me than the demands of the day.


I may have MS, and it may still be hard for me to say that out loud to people, but if I have to say it, this is what I want people to see. I want people to see Jesus. I want people to see that I love HIM with my whole self, and that if this is what HE needs to give me so that I can be what I need to be for Him, then so be it. To say I am not still frightened at times would be a lie. To say that if my disease progresses, I won’t weep, would be false. I am afraid sometimes. I still get discouraged and sometimes angry. But here is the thing, for all the discouraging moments I have had with this disease, I have had equally encouraging moments. I have had more blessings and personal growth in the last four years than some people gets in a lifetime. I constantly ask the Lord to stay the progression, because there is so much I want to do. But in the same breath, I know that while I see the current angle, He sees the panoramic view.


So as my friends and family – please join me in prayer. That my life will reflect Christ. That this disease will be used to glorify Him. And that I will not waste one moment that He gives me.


My savior has been sufficiently meeting my struggles for the last twenty four years of my life, and I have no doubts that He will continue to do so in the years to come…


My Jesus, thank you for being my very best friend and for always giving me something about which to sing and write… I love you….

Heartbeats and Promises

Sympathy and empathy – two words used interchangeably by many, but truly understood by few. With sympathy, you can express your feelings of sadness for someone else’s pain, without really feeling their pain. With empathy, you have the ability to physically, emotionally and mentally feel another person’s emotions. You become them in a sense. Ans in dealing with people, I find empathy to far more effective than sympathy. Simply because as people, we long to be heard, understood and known. A desire stemming from the One who created us to be that way – in His image.

But sometimes, the Lord places me in situations, where I want to empathize, but feel that I lack not only the experience, but also the right. Several weeks ago I had such an experience…

A little over a month ago, I received an invitation to a baby shower. Glancing at the invitation, I realized it was for a dear friend who had moved away, but would be back in town for a short time. How Exciting! Baby showers are always such fun! But this wasnt going to be just any baby shower...

You see, this friend had been praying for a baby for a very long time. In fact, we all had been praying for the Lord’s blessing to be on her in this way. There were a few times we all thought the Lord had answered this prayer, but it wasn’t quite the right time. When she shared the news about this sweet baby, I began to fervently pray that this would be the right time. To be honest, I think our entire church rallied around this prayer request in a way it never had before. I firmly believe this because, this dear sweet lady is going to be giving birth to a healthy baby boy shortly, and this baby is cause for the celebration and praise.

Shortly before the date of the shower, my friend Charity sent me a text, asking if I would write a poem for our friend’s shower. Now, most church functions that I have written poems for, were either youth conferences or camps, and they were lighthearted and fun. This topic was tender, sensitive and special – and I wanted more than anything to do it justice.

So I began to pray about it… and this is where the empathy and sympathy come into play...

I have never lost a child. I have never felt that pain. I knew that by definition I could sympathize, but that seemed to platonic of a position to take considering the situation. What I wanted to give her was empathy… but, “Lord, how on earth can I do that when I haven’t felt that pain?” was the prayer of my heart.

Sitting at the kitchen counter a few short days before the shower, the Lord gave me words that I wouldn’t have been able to put together had He not been the One guiding the hands across the keys.

There was no way that I could empathize with her pain and sense of loss, but I could empathize with my own. And though our pain is not in any way the same or comparable, I truly believe, that in order to understand pain, you must first have felt it yourself.

These words were penned for two incredible people. One – my friend, who despite the unimaginable pain she was feeling, kept a smile on her face and a song in her heart, and two – for the special little guy that I CANNOT wait to meet. We have all prayed for you for such a long time, and the life God has for you will be beyond your wildest imaginations.

I love that the Lord gave me this opportunity. It pushed me. It challenged me. It even frightened me a little. But most of all, it showed me once again, that when I lean on Him and listen carefully to his heartbeat, His promise to always be there for me is once again shown as truth to me.

Monica’s Poem – Frame and Decorated by Yours Truly;)

Heartbeats and Promises

Tiny hands, tender eyes,

Rolling over, several tries

Sudden tears, soon dried away

By gentle hands, arms to lay

This precious gift, this little joy,

A promise made, her loving boy

Months of praying, waiting, watching

The yearning in her heart not stopping

Heartache, disappointment, fear - feelings not unknown

Courage, grace, faith, trust - would someday soon be shown

Today is celebration

Joy and rapture too

As you prepare to welcome

Your sweet boy wrapped up in blue

This adventure soon awaits you, its own course all plotted out,

The crazy times are coming when instead of sing, you’ll shout

This precious little miracle, we cannot wait to meet,

To see him in your arms at last, how wonderful and sweet

This gift that has been given you, I know you’ll cherish long,

I pray the years ahead with him, will give your heart a song

A song of joy and gladness, that nothing else can fill,

To write a chapter in your life, untouched by any quill

We joyously applaud the Lord for answering this prayer,

For saying yes at last to you, to prove His loving care.

Blessings, care and happiness, I wish with all my heart,

And pray the road ahead is sweet, as this journey you’ll soon start.

Elizabeth Alm

March 17, 2012

Here, Borrow My Knees

Here, Borrow My Knees

“Here, you can borrow my knees for that.” These were the first words I said to him. And little did I know that those words would unlock the door for unexpected laughter, joy, wisdom and faith.

It was a normal workday. I came in at 8, worked until 12:30, and then went to the deli for my lunch break. Usually I try to snag a seat by the fireplace, but today, the toasty seats were all taken. But, I’m almost positive the Lord planned it that way.

While I unpacked my lunch, and chatted with my best friend on the phone, I noticed a gentleman reaching down to pick something off the floor.

Without even thinking about it, I jumped up, bent down for the penny, and said, “Here, you can borrow my knees for that.”

His response was priceless. “How long can I borrow them?” I chuckled and said, “Whenever you see me, you can borrow my knees.”

I went back to my lunch, finished my phone call and tried to soak up my last few minutes of free time. As I sat there, I watched him. He was not an unfamiliar face to me because he frequented the deli almost daily. He always sat at the same table, chatting with people, reading and drinking coke.

As I got up to leave, I stopped by his table once more and told him to have a nice day. As I reached out to shake his hand, we exchanged names, and he asked me if I had a minute.

In all honesty, I probably was cutting it a little close, but the Holy Spirit told me to make time. So I did. I sat down at his table, which I soon learned is referred to as, “his office”, and heard one of the most wonderful stories of my life.

My newfound friend shared with me a story of how listening to the leading of the Holy Spirit allowed him to be part of helping to purchase Bibles for people in Africa. And how several years later, he met someone who had just come from the same group of people who received and were using the Bibles he helped to purchase.

I had chills running up and down my arms as he shared with tears in his eyes, his love for Jesus. I saw in that short five minutes an unbelievable love and fervor for Jesus, and for serving and being used of Him.

I thank him for sharing that testimony with me, and as I got up to leave “his office”, I was struck once again by the magnitude and all-powerfulness of God.

Out of all the things to arrange, God had seen fit to give me this divine appointment. For that my friends is what that afternoon was –a divine meeting of two people. For in my short time of knowing him, I have been encouraged, inspired and challenged. And I believe more than anything, that is what God wants us to glean from our relationships and interactions with fellow believers.

It has now become a running joke whenever I see him. And the humor grew when, on Sunday, someone at church offered their knees to him, without knowing about our previous encounter. He laughed and laughed when he told me about it on Monday morning.

So far, I have heard about the blessings from following the Holy Spirit, the blessings that come from the hard times, and the blessings that come from solid Christian relationships that stand the test of time.

These are just a few of the lessons that I have taken away from my conversations with him.

So, let me challenge you.

How are you going to use your knees?

I am not necessarily talking about your physical knees, although, in my experience, they are good things to share. I am referring to the things that you have, that God wants to use, but you haven’t even given it a second thought.

My job has taught me more than I ever thought possible about all the ways I can be a blessing. Today, I helped a lady put on her raincoat. Is that part of my job description? No, but it is part of being a servant of God, and loving others more than I love myself… Taking time away from “my to do list” to see the needs of other people, no matter how small. What is small to us might be huge to them.

The mission statement of my job is “Loving God by Serving People”, and I love that so much. I love having a purpose that is greater than paperwork and filing. I love finding joy in peeling back the corners of guest badges so people don’t struggle with taking them off that infuriatingly sticky paper. I love saying “turn left at the fish tank” over and over, because it means someone now knows how to get to their loved one. And I love letting people borrow my knees, so that they don’t hurt or strain themselves.

Why do I love doing this? A resident’s daughter gave me these verses today and I truly believe they express completely and fully why I love sharing my knees.

Colossians 3:23-24 “And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.”

This is why I share my knees. I want to be a part of something bigger than I am. I want to be so available to Jesus, that when He says, “Share your knees”, I don’t even hesitate. Obeying every impulse of the Holy Spirit…

So, tomorrow when you get up and go to work, or go to school or go to the store – ask yourself this –

Who needs my knees?

Help, Please???

Hi! My name is Elizabeth. I started a blog. But have I written on it lately? No, because I am a crazy, workaholic person who gets home at night and is boring! Lol, not really, but in all honesty, I have been busy and irritated and tired and really wanting a cheeseburger. Not a fabulous combination in my opinion.

So to cheer myself up and to bolter my self-discipline regarding greasy hamburgers, I decided to blog. Not necessarily because I think people want to read it, but because writing is my therapy. I can admit on paper that I am slightly deranged and at time odd, and then delete it and write something else…. Or, I can blog whatever is on my mind and solidify my apparent excentric behavior for the world to see. It is a beautiful thing!

I have now been sitting here for almost half an hour writing some spiritual stuff about being content. Yes, I was talking to myself more than anything, but then I realized for the past week I have been really heavy, and maybe even slightly depressing… Definitely Negative Nelly, and possibly even a little Debbi Downer…. So….I need a lift. A joyous, spiritual lift from the Lord! And what is so awesome about my Jesus, is that He knows exactly what will lift my spirits. And while talking about contentment is all well and good, I was becoming a little preachy... and I didn't really feel like listening to my own three point alliterated outline, so I perceptively came to the realization that everyone else might not want to read it either. So instead of saying what "I" think I should say, let's just chat. That's always more fun anyway!

I was going to go spend time with friends this weekend, but…since I don’t feel so hot, and I feel the need to “de-people”, I’m going to be a homebody this weekend. By the way, “de-people” is my new term for – “no I do not want to learn anything more about trust funds, insurance payments, petty cash, etc. I do not want to answer anymore phones, and I do NOT want to use the phrase 'Just take a left after the fishtank' in a sentence for a very long time”. For people I work with, this will make sense, but for those I don’t….. please don’t ask, I don’t want to explain, because that is another thing I don’t want to do….lol

I was looking through my poems, and found one that was appropriately light hearted enough for my much needed pick me up, but still brought home a spiritual promise I have been trying to remind myself of all week. Because after all, catching myself when I start to preach, doesnt mean I dont still claim the promises from Jesus. It just means I share, instead of tell.

I wrote it one night in college when I was feeling especially overwhelmed. I put all of the irritating and frustrating things I could think of together and made them rhyme. In a way, it helped me gain perspective on my own frustrations. Because at the time, I couldn't find humor in them. I guess in a way, I deflected, but sometimes, I think that helps. Momentarily anyway...

None of these things happened in any particular order, but through writing it, I realized it’s the little things that tend to push us over the edge.

It’s not the fact that the engine fell out of our car that causes us to go crazy, it is the fact that once the engine DOES fall out, the wind shield wipers won’t stop going back and forth at 60 miles an hour.

Who cares that the engine is rolling down the hill at light speed, destroying everything in its path,  it’s the crazy wipers that won't slow down that drives you to tears….

And do not ask me how this even makes sense, because right now… I have no idea... I am just riding the wave...

Here’s my poem, thanks for reading, and now I’m going to go eat chocolate. Because I need it. The endJ

Help…..Please???

This morning I got out of bed and stubbed my baby toe,

My sunburn from just yesterday, it really has a glow.

I walked into the bathroom and ran into the wall,

And as I tried to shave my legs, I slipped and had a fall!

A cowlick came from who knows where, and it would not behave,

My bleeding legs just wouldn’t stop from that awful shave!

An acne tree was blooming upon my very head,

My sister lost my makeup; I want to shoot her, dead!!!

All the buttons on my shirt, popped off and rolled away,

And right now I am asking, “why did I wake up today?”

At school the boy I liked, asked out my bestest friend,

I flunked a quiz in algebra and prayed the day would end.

Oh gym class, it was awful, I missed every ball they pitched,

At home I snuck some cookies and my little brother snitched!

Sometimes we feel that everything is simple going wrong,

We close our eyes and plug our ears and sing a little song!

“Jesus loves me, this I hope;

help me not to be a dope,

This day is, well, it’s not too hot,

Can’t we please just have a talk?”

Why on earth does every thing have to be so hard?

All I need’s a hug, a kiss, and I think…a Hallmark card?

God just laughs and holds me close, tucked beneath His chin,

“Child, please don’t worry, I’m always deep within.”

When you feel discouraged, alone and so afraid,

Just open up your Bible to the promises I’ve made.

I will never ever leave you, what time you are in pain,

Lean on me and take my hand and comfort you shall gain.

So when it seems that life just stinks and everything’s a flop,

Turn to God, clean up that mess with Jesus’ special mop!!!

By Elizabeth Alm

September 20, 2008 – 12:30am